Don’t Blow Your Nose In The Water Fountain
We all know the general rules of the gym: don’t drop the
weights, wipe your sweat off the machines when you’re done, etc.
But do you know all about the more “colorful”, lesser known
rules of the gym?
NOTE: These rules are JOKES! If you ever see any of these rules
posted at any gym you ever go to, please take a picture for me!
1. Don’t blow your nose in the water fountain.
This is a crude habit and can contribute to the spread of colds
and viruses. Besides, that’s what the gym towels are for…
2. No smoking on the cardio machines.
Those little circular spots are water-bottle holders, not
ashtrays. If you need a cigarette that badly when you’re working
out, tape one to the pulldown bar and take a drag on it as a
reward for each rep you do.
3. When spotting someone on bench press, be sure to wipe your
face first.
You are not a stalactite, and dripping sweat into someone’s eye
is not a good way to make friends.
4. If you choose to wear cologne or perfume to the gym, please
don’t marinate in it.
If the person on the stair machine next to you lights up a
cigarette, you could both be seriously injured.
5. Those stands that have all the weight plates on them should
not be used for holding your donuts.
Your donuts will end up with a terrible metallic taste that even
the coffee in your water bottle won’t be able to get out of your
mouth.
6. The Crunch Machine is not a vending machine for candy bars.
Please don’t try to put money into this machine. It’s for
working your abdominals. You will never, EVER get a Nestle’s
Crunch bar out of it.
7. Even though the gym has stair machines, it is not required by
law to have elevator machines.
Please stop asking about this at the reception desk.
8. Pick up after your dog when you walk him on the treadmill.
No explanation necessary.
9. If you have a habit of spraying spit when you lift, ensure
there is no one in your target area.
It’s bad enough that the mirrors by the squat rack look like a
St. Bernard shook himself in front of them.
10. Do not give yourself C.P.R. when doing bench presses.
Bouncing the bar heavily off your ribcage instead of pressing it
properly may cause damage to the bar and voids the warranty on
the bench. Besides that, you don’t want your spotter feeling as
though he’s dribbling a barbell down the court do you?
11. Beer and/or liquor in your water bottle are prohibited.
Unless, of course, you bring enough for everybody. This also
goes for mochaccinos, frappaccinos, and anything with an
umbrella in it.
12. Use the rowing machine at your own risk.
If it sinks, there are no lifeguards on duty.
Following these rules to the best of your ability will ensure a
pleasant exercise experience for everyone.
Thank you.