The Jeffrey And Tracey Info Emporium

For years, EZBoard was a community that offered relatively cheap and easy to maintain forums for managers. Virtually anyone could register, design, and layout a site and invite their friends to participate. Indeed, some of the largest forums on the internet are built upon EZBoard. Unfortunately, a recent system-wide hacking attack has destroyed the company’s reputation and sent many managers packing. Let’s look at the venerable community and the fatal flaw that has toppled the company from its perch.

At one time EZBoard boasted over 14,000 web communities. Many were started by individuals seeking a discussion forum for their favorite topics, while others were started by business people such as myself. The reasons businesses were attracted to EZBoard were two-fold:

1. We were not knowledgeable enough about PHP to create and manage a site for ourselves, and

2. We did not want to go through the expense of hosting our site on a dedicated server and, instead, used EZBoard’s vast bank of computers to house our communities.

Admittedly, reason #1 was a huge part of why I stuck with EZBoard. Sure, I knew about vBulletin and related forums but purchasing a license from them and managing the site on a dedicated server was a pricey option, especially since at one time I was managing more than a dozen forums! I could handle the variable charges incurred from being with EZBoard by paying my subscription charges on either a quarterly, semi-annually or even yearly basis. I doubt that I dished out more than $500-600 in any given year, so it was cost effective for my business.

I should have known that EZBoard was not quite up to the task when their system shut down for several days in Spring 2004 after what was supposed to be a simple system-wide update of the forums. A few hours of down time was extended to several days and forum administrators were left in the dark for all of that time. More importantly, many forum members assumed the worst and peppered many an administrator’s inbox with queries. Those days were not fun; EZBoard did recover and gave managers credits exceeding the number of days they were down. Still, if you relied on AdSense revenue — like I do — you lost big time.

History was to repeat itself on May 30, 2005, when a reported outside attack by hackers brought down EZBoard altogether. Yes, the boards were still working, but the majority of messages were gone and any new ones also began to disappear. EZBoard admitted almost immediately they were hacked and were working diligently to restore the 9000 boards affected. Soon, however, the news came out that much of their backup files were hacked as well. Forum managers wondered if EZBoard kept all their files on vulnerable servers or if the attack was done internally. Messages from EZBoard management were vague “in the interest of security” so nobody knew for sure.

As the days passed and forum managers realized that the restoral process would only be partial and take weeks to accomplish, a steady stream of managers began to hit the php sites to see about moving their boards. With trepidation I visited the PHPBB2 site knowing that my skillsets were limited in this area. However, I soon learned that this particular program was open source — in effect, free — and the Flash tutorials explained everything clearly and effectively. So, in one evening I set up the new site, transferred some files, and gave it a launch.

The best part? In the two years since I was with EZBoard my hosting company for web pages had upgraded their site enough to be able to house my message boards. So, instead of having web pages on one server and my forums on another, I could house them collectively. Most importantly, I would no longer have to rely on EZBoard’s flawed backup plans and could backup all the files myself.

I still have one EZBoard community and I may keep it, for now. It is a small, but very well established where it is “sitting” and I lost only 4 or 5 files under the attack. Two of my sites I transferred to PHP and two others I decided to delete as they were slower performers. Fortunately, I had gotten rid of several smaller, no performing sites earlier. Still, I felt the pain of EZBoard’s hacking incident and decided the time to move was now.

So, what is the future of EZBoard? That is hard to tell. They are promising a major upgrade which would include the ability allowing managers to back up their own sites. That would be a very good move. However, the administrative costs with EZBoard now exceed what managers pay with many standard web hosting companies. Few sites are large enough to require a dedicated server, therefore many managers will likely consider making the move away.

I was twice bitten from EZBoard and did not relish a third hit, thus my two largest sites are now with PHPBB2. The move was time consuming, but the new board has many more advanced features compared to EZBoard. Sure, I have more administrative things to do — like help AOL users who have difficulty signing up — but I no longer am subject to the whims of EZBoard. I am glad that a major risk factor has been removed even with the increased administrative responsibilities. You will be too if you decide to make the move.

Matt’s two communities now hosted with PHPBB2 are located at http://aviationemploymentboard.net/forum and http://corporateflyer.net/forum

Ok, we’ve heard it all before. “Join now and we’ll build it for you”, or “Join our downline building club and you’ll get rich”. In fact, I receive several emails per day promising some variation of these statements. I’m sure you’ve seen them too.

Let’s be completely honest. I’ve even fallen for several of these lies and scams myself, and you guessed it, not one of them made me rich.

I’ll agree, an automated system would be great, but the truth is that it will never provide a long-term successful income. You see, people want to work with people, not web sites or emails, and with a failure rate of nearly 98%, there’s no debate that something is not working as promised.

The question is what portion of the MLM Prospecting System needs to be overhauled and stream lined.

The answer is All of It!

Let me explain. You’ve probably been told to write down a list of your family and friends, order an affiliate web site, send out thousands of emails, or even waste money sending packages of flyers, booklets, audios or videos.

Don’t feel bad, I’ve tried it too, and all I accomplished by doing this was putting myself into deeper credit card debt, while my MLM Company made out like bandits by selling everyone marketing materials.

The truth hurts, but there it is. Now, what can the average person do to turn this situation into a profitable venture?

The first step is to think outside the box and be prepared to grow as a person, develop your skills, and commit yourself to success.

Now, what makes a powerful MLM Prospecting System work?

Before I disappoint you, let me just say that the most successful people in the MLM industry utilize a very simple system to build their businesses. It’s not about the Internet, computers, or guru marketing tactics. It’s much more simple than that.

There’s no magic bullet or super secret marketing tactic.

In a nutshell, your MLM Prospecting System should be built on a foundation of relationships. Web sites and emails cannot build relationships.

There are basically 5 elements to a strong MLM Prospecting System.

1. Lead Generation
2. Personal Contact
3. Presentation
4. Training
5. Mastermind Team Building

I will be detailing each of these topics in future articles, however, I want to briefly go over the basics of each element right now.

Lead generation is the basis for any MLM Prospecting System. You may have the knowledge to generate your own leads, or you can delegate this task to a reputable lead generator. You see, the one thing that successful people understand is the concept of delegating tasks. Find someone who is good at something and put them to work. It’s a win win situation.

Now, you have a lead generator that is producing hundreds, or even thousands of target market leads. What now? Simple, you personally invite them to evaluate your product or opportunity. Don’t waste your leads by sending them a generic email that they delete. Build the relationship with them and make a friend. This is not as difficult as it might seem. Always keep in mind that it should be based on their needs and not yours. If they honestly feel that you’re there to help them they will be much more receptive. People are much more attracted to a teacher than a salesman.

The presentation is where most systems fall apart. Remember, automated presentation systems do nothing when it comes to building a relationship. People not only want to hear about the company, product, and pay plan, but more importantly they need to know that they can succeed and they need to see that you have a simple, effective system in place that will help them. The key however, is not presenting to prospects one on one. The leaders are presenting to literally hundreds of people per day via a simple tool called the conference line. There is a certain skill and technique to be mastered here, but this is how large numbers are created in any MLM business.

Training is perhaps the easiest part of the MLM Prospecting system. Your goal is not to train everyone, in every aspect of the business. Keep in mind; the average person will never be a salesman or public speaker. So don’t teach them to do that. Most people are comfortable with working a job, so give them a job. Simply train them to contact your prospect list and set appointments for your “LIVE” presentation. This way they only need to learn this one skill to build a successful business. Just imagine, how fast would your downline grow if you had 100 people each inviting 2 people per day to your conference call presentation. That is how you create exponential growth. Anyone can be an appointment setter, but very few will ever master sales or public speaking, so use this to your advantage.

Finally, develop a Mastermind team. This is simply a group of 2 or more people with a common mindset. There is power in numbers and when you develop a strong Mastermind group your business will explode. Brainstorming with your team will result in a more streamlined MLM Prospecting System. Remember, you cannot do everything yourself, but as a team, you can accomplish anything.

In short, a successful MLM Prospecting System will never be based on computers or the internet. It will be based on YOU, and your ability to establish relationships, present your opportunity to large numbers, delegate simple tasks to your downline, and establish a Mastermind team effort.

The truth is that the most successful marketers in the world have been doing this for years, but they’re not teaching others how to do it for themselves. Once you start thinking like a leader, you’ll start generating the income of a leader.

Troy Berlin has been involved in small business, and home-based business operations for more than 15 years. and is currently active in home business consulting, training, and coaching. Anyone can achieve success in there own business by applying a simple, effective, and proven system. The Secret is finally revealed in a Complimentary 22 minute consultation! Learn More - http://www.MentorMindset.com

I know we’ve heard this saying quite a bit when it comes to any type of business, especially Direct Sales. However, are you truly communicating with everyone you come in contact with?

First off, let’s break this down into the different ways we should be communicating.

Potential Customers Online

Email can pile up quickly, but regardless it’s important to take the time to reply to those who contact you about your business. Save the message boards, groups, newsletters, and funny forwards for later. At least until you’ve made sure you’ve properly replied to every personal message about your business.

Potential Customers Offline

This is very important especially at craft shows. Our sales have been outstanding even in the worst places due to actually talking to potential customers walking past. Just walking past they aren’t going to see how beneficial soy wax candles are when they are just sitting on a table. So, we talk to them. We tell them everything about the candles and the scents, and ask them questions about their candle burning habits. We’ve sold many a tealight sample to those who have never tried them.

Follow Ups on Orders

Keep in good contact with your customers. Thank them for their order and tell them when it’s going to arrive. When it ships, contact them and let them know it’s coming. When it arrives, contact them. See the pattern?

Follow Ups on Reorders

If you sell reusable items, or maybe an item that could be easily recommended to someone else, contacting past customers at certain times is important. You’re leaving money on the table if you constantly search for new customers. Don’t forget about those who have already purchased! Ask them how they liked their order, if they had any problems, etc. If they liked the products, you might suggest they host a party or catalog show to introduce it to their friends.

Of course you want to spend most of your time focused on potential and past customers, but don’t forget about others you meet! When someone asks what you do for a living, explain to them your “job” and what you sell. Have a mini speech ready to give at a moments notice that covers the basics of your products.

Don’t be afraid to be a chatter-box!

About the Authors: Kara Kelso & Anita DeFrank are two busy wahms, and the owners of Direct Sales Helpers. For free direct sales tips, visit:
http://www.DirectSalesHelpers.com/newsletter.html

Before we talk about specific networking tips I want to address
a critical aspect of networking that is often overlooked.
Sometimes we are so eager to network that we don’t stop to
consider whether or not we are investing our energy in the
right places.

Listen, you can go to all of the networking meetings under the
sun and collect hundreds of business cards while you’re at it
but if you’re not hanging out with people you can do business
with, you might make some new friends, you won’t necessarily
grow your business.

If you want to grow your business by networking it is
imperative that you network with: people who are your ideal
clients, people who know your ideal clients, and/or people who
do business with your ideal clients. It’s that simple. So
before you sign up for your next networking event, ask yourself
if it is a good fit for your business.

When you network with people who need your products/services
(or know others who do) there will be a natural interest in
knowing more about your business. Stop, not so quick – the
story of you and your business comes later. First, let’s walk
through what happens at a networking event and I will give you
a tip for each step.

Step 1: Meeting People

Enter the room with confidence, stand up straight and smile.
Look for a friendly face and introduce yourself. If you don’t
see an opportunity to meet someone right away don’t panic. A
sure fire way to strike up a conversation is to get in a line
(to sign in, for food, for drinks, for the restrooms). You can
also approach the person hosting the event and ask for an
introduction. In addition, if the list of attendees is
available prior to the meeting you can identify someone you
would like to meet and approach someone to ask if the person
you are looking for is at the meeting.

Step 2: Getting to Know People - The Ed Principle

Instead of trying to be interestING (focusing on the ‘ing’) be
interestED (focus on the ‘ed’) in the person you are talking
with. You don’t have to worry about what you will say (except
for your brief pitch which comes later). In fact, you can make
it a goal to talk as little as possible, I promise you will be
remembered as a marvelous conversationalist. Memorize this
phrase: ‘Tell me more about…’ and use it! Just relax, be
yourself and listen.

Step 3: Giving First

Yes I know, the reason you are networking in the first place is
because you want to get something. You want to meet more of
your ideal clients and meet people who can refer to your ideal
clients. But don’t forget, networking is a two way street. It
is about building relationships. I know you have something
interesting to share, so why not give first? Perhaps you can
recommend a great book or website, share an article, or maybe
you can make a valuable introduction.

Step 4: Your Perfect Pitch

Eventually the person you are talking with may ask you what you
do, so be ready! Don’t ramble on about how long you have been
in business or how your business process works. Do prepare a
fabulous, short, and memorable pitch (10-30 seconds long) that
clearly communicates what you do and for whom you do it.

Step 5: Ending a Conversation

Remember, all conversations must end at some point so don’t be
afraid to politely excuse yourself and thank the person for her
time. Reasons to wrap up can include going to get another
drink, something to eat, going to the restroom, or needing to
talk with someone before they leave. Whatever the reason, be
honest and be genuine.

Step 6: Follow Up and Follow Through

This one is so simple and important yet somehow it frequently
gets ignored. If you promise to do something (call, send an
article, make an introduction) do it!

Think about making use of these networking tips the next time
you plan to do some networking. The truth is people do
business with people they know, like, and trust. This occurs
over time and is all about building relationships, not about
collecting business cards. Be yourself, be real and have fun!

(c) 2005 Stephanie Ward

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this information with it:
Life & Business Coach Stephanie Ward helps business owners
set their profits on fire! Get your free monthly profit
tips plus bonus report at: http://www.fireflycoaching.com

Commandment 1

Love

When we choose to simply love, our giving and receiving becomes unconditional. We can listen and not be caught up in the vicious cycle of judgment.

We can also watch people and suspend judgment because we are learning to understand that our perception of an individual’s behavior does not make it so. This is the essence of friendliness.

Someone once said, “I keep the telephone of my mind open to love and peace, when fear, doubt and negative call they get a busy signal, soon they will forget my number.”

Commandment 2

Smile

A smile makes us appear approachable. Some people are scared by a smile simply because they are not accustomed to unsolicited warmth and acceptance.

Everyone needs acceptance. If we do not reach out and smile, who will? Smile just for the beauty of smiling. It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 muscles to smile. Put your muscles to good use and smile.

A smile, like a butterfly, brings beauty to the world simply through its existence.

You can create the same experience by sharing your smile.

Commandment 3

Touch

We are inclined to take the art of networking for granted. In doing so, we inadvertently violate unspoken laws governing communication. Be considerate of personal space. Upon meeting someone new, do not assume it is okay to touch him or her.

Be mindful that communication is 7% words, 38% tone/inflection and 55% non-verbal.

Be careful of your non-verbal messages, especially when you are dealing with the opposite sex. Use caution until you can safely determine that your new contacts, friends and loved ones are comfortable with touching. Once you learn this, you are free to enjoy touching as part of your communication.

Commandment 4

Humor

Although humor is a quality that we all possess, we are usually somewhat reluctant to display it. Humor eases pain, releases burdens and can keep your stress levels down, use it! Learn to literally live until you die.

Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Most people die with the music still in them, while others live their lives desperately looking for the music.”

A friend recently made reference to a delightful person with a pleasant spirit who made his transition. She was very sad by the loss of this person whom she did not know personally. I asked her why was she so sad, she remarked that whenever she saw him, he was so very pleasant and she missed the beauty of his spirit and his humor.

Commandment 5

Laughter

Laughter, like humor, will keep the blues away. Many times we laugh at others, but the true secret to the benefits of laughter is being able to laugh at yourself. Enjoy yourself; you are going to be with yourself for the rest of your life!

Other people want to be around people who enjoy laughing and will go out of their way to include them.

Most of us enjoy being around people that can bring the beauty of laughter to our atmosphere. I still enjoy watching “I Love Lucy,” after all these years it still makes me laugh.

Commandment 6

Lagniappe (Lan yapp)

This is a southern term, which means “a little something extra,” simply share an extra portion of your kindness, joy, peace and patience with those you meet. It is nice to be important but more important to be nice.

That little something extra will create goodwill, trust and inspire confidence, which will make you an excellent candidate for the job, contract or business venture.

I’ll give you that little something extra at the end of the book, so keep reading.

Commandment 7

Warmth/Care

When it comes to networking and warmth, sincerity is the key element. That sincerity guides the spirit of networking and is what sets this book apart from the dozens of others providing networking advice.

The power of genuine concern, particularly when it comes to networking, can be summed in the advice passed down by our grandmothers. “People do not care how much you have and how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

In conclusion, remember the “Networking Factor… everybody is important!”

Ms. Smallwood-McKenzie is a Networking Coach in Los Angeles and she coaches small businesses and professionals in expanding their political, business, and social bases. She is the Author of “The 101 Commandments of Networking: Common Sense But Not Common Practice.” Enjoy Free Preview compliments of http://www.101NetworkingCommandments.com or visit Amazon.com to read Customer Reviews of this guide. This networking guide is available wherever fine books are sold. Janice’s e-mail address is ConfirmedCoach@netscape.net

Speaking to an audience with your back turned is like networking online without a photo. It’s completely ineffective - so why do people do it and what are the other 6 deadly mistakes people make when networking online?

They don’t include a photo on their profile page
They don’t fill in their profile
They don’t post on group discussion boards

They do not practice the four essentials of the likeability factor
When they post they don’t put their URL into their signature.
They make it a mission to collect as many names as possible
They don’t follow up with the contacts they have made.

Ok, lets explore this more closely.

No 1. Your photo - If you don’t have a photo no one is going to stop on your page. Would you be interested in reading a profile without a photo attached?

Another point about photos - make sure they are professional. I do not want to see you in fancy dress at your best friends Halloween party, and I do not want to see you smooching your pet dog unless you are a vet or a own pet grooming salon.

Remember a picture tells a 1000 words. What do you want perspective business connections to ascertain from your picture?

No 2. Fill in your profile. Adding as much relevant information as you can. Do you have a website, or two , or three - make sure you feature them. This is the part of networking online that is like working the room in a live event. You are letting people know who you are and initially if you are relevant to each other and worth following up on.

No 3. Putting up your profile and waiting to be noticed is not networking and frankly if this is all you have done you are wasting all the fabulous opportunities networking online has to offer you. If you have a website, you will know that you don’t just go live and wait. You write articles with links back to your site, you write testimonials on other peoples sites, you participate in discussion boards and you put your URL on all your Products and promotional materials.

When networking online you need to post at least three times a week, this does not mean starting a new discussion every time you can simply reply or add value to a topic that is already live.

This will:

lead people back to your profile page to see who you are.
Will let people know what you are interested in and what your opinions are, and if they are in line with their own thoughts and feelings on different topics
Will keep you visible.

Remember if you don’t post you are invisible. If you post something interesting people will come to your homepage to find out more about you.

But remember too, don’t post too much or people will think you have too much time on your hands and that your business can’t be very successful.

Posting on discussion boards brings me to point No 4. Tim Sanders talks about working on the four essentials of your Likeability factor. (see book The Likeability Factor)
Friendliness

Relevance

Empathy

Realness

This is as relevant online as it is in life. Be aware that most network members are invisible, they never post or speak their mind, but they do read, and everything you write will reflect your personality and your business, and therefore their decision as to whether or not they will use your services.
Share your knowledge and wisdom. Make yourself a valuable resource. Someone whom people want to get to know.

Number 5. Your website url is your business card online. You wouldnt go to a live event without your cards, don’t post without adding your URL under your name.

Speaking of business cards brings me to point. No 6. Don’t just gather contacts. You will notice there are some people in networking groups with hundreds of contacts on their lists. A bit like the live net worker who runs around the room shoving business cards in everybodys hands and grabbing cards as they go. These names are useless unless you have something in common and keep in touch.

Finally No 7. keep in touch with your new contacts. Look for ways you can enhance the networking environment.

A colleague, Scott Stratten from Unmarketing.com suggests If someone interests you look at their “Have’s” and “Want’s” (found on the profile page) and see if there is something you can do to help them. He notes that “This reinforces the importance of the “give first” philosophy. Results are often not immediate, but they do come, usually in a big way if you are sincere and create real value for the people around you.”

So when networking online:
Post a professional photo on your contact page.
Provide as much relevant information as possible on your profile,
Post on the discussion boards at least three times a week.
practice the four essentials of the likeability factor

Friendliness

Relevance

Empathy

Realness

5. When you post always put your URL into your signature.
6. Connect only to people who you will be useful to or who benefit you in some way.
7. Build relationships with your contacts and cull out the dead ends regularly.

Above all have fun!

I look forward to meeting you online,

Krissy Jackson http://www.krissyjackson.com
Krissy specializes in teaching Networking and Marketing techniques.
She is also the Co Moderator of Entrepreneurs Playground
www.openbc.com/net/ep

IT network managers have to fight the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” mindset to win resources. With computer networks, that mindset is dangerously complacent. IT networks will keep pumping data until they die or let in hackers. Here are some winning arguments against “if it ain’t broke…”

IT Network Maintenance: Better Analogies

Don’t let your IT network’s budget get lumped with IT in general–or worse, operations in general. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” sometimes makes sense in IT or operations. Upgrading workstations or desks can cost productivity, making it self-defeating. You have to stress that IT networks are different from workstations or desks.

• IT networks are harder to repair.
• IT networks cannot be done without until fixed. You depend on them for email, web, file transfers, and in some organizations, printing, fax and telephone. If your network breaks you may be forced to rely on hand-written letters.
• IT network improvements rarely lower productivity on the front line. Instead, a faster, more reliable network can improve front-line productivity.

Here are the analogies you should stress to counter “if it ain’t broke”:

• Plumbing: IT networks will appear to function until they burst. The damage will be more expensive than maintenance ever could have been. In the meantime, you are losing productivity to all the little “leaks.”
• Dams: If a poorly maintained IT network bursts, the eventual flood will harm overall productivity.
• War: There is no such thing as “good enough” when you are in competition. With an IT network, you’re in a quiet arms race with hackers. You are also competing with your business competitors in terms of productivity.
• Health: Your IT network has to be in top physical condition. You can’t make up for bad habits with a week or two of “rejuvenation.” Meanwhile, your day-to-day performance will suffer.
• Cars: Don’t wait for your IT network to conk out. Get a regular tune-up of up-to-date equipment.

IT Network Maintenance: What Can Go Wrong

Now, let’s drive the point home. Here are some concrete, easy-to-explain reasons to keep your network up-to-date:

• Power supplies. Without redundant backups, your network is vulnerable to a shutdown. The lost productivity will make extra equipment seem inexpensive in comparison.
• Integrity. Faulty or contradictory data can break older networks. Newer equipment has solved these problems. Again, the potential cost of lost productivity makes newer equipment a good value.
• Firewalls. Hackers can leak trade secrets stolen from unprotected networks. Firewall software upgrades are relatively inexpensive.
• VOIP. Organizations worldwide are switching to VOIP–not just outside-line telephones but also switchboard and teleconferencing. If your network is out-of-date, it may fail when you eventually try this new technology.
• Speed. Older platforms such as 10BASET will throttle your bandwidth. You can now upgrade to a Terabit or more. Just think of the seconds, minutes, hours, and days lost as staff wait for email to arrive and web pages to load.

Final tip: show how cost-effective IT network maintenance really is. Get a firm cost estimate from a vendor. Just make sure your cost estimate is as competitive as it can be. You can often get new equipment at half the cost of retail by buying refurbished equipment.

Close your case for a better network with this wisdom: no matter what you pay, keeping your network up-to-date is cheaper than the consequences of letting it fall into disrepair.

Joel Walsh is a business and technology writer. Get an IT network cost estimate from Genesis Global, specialist in guaranteed used cisco switches: www.genesisglobalinc.com

It’s something most of us do often. We shake hands. We shake hands with long-time friends, with old acquaintances and with brand-new people. Shaking hands here and shaking hands there.

I took a class in college where they taught us how to shake hands. I remember thinking at the time – more than 20 years ago - that everyone should know how shakes hands effectively. Then, as I reflected, I realized that I had shaken more than a few hands that needed those lessons. I thought then, and agree now that my Dad taught me the basics and importance of good handshakes.

In much of the world, the handshake is a part of the first impression that we make. People think about first impressions from a grooming and dress standpoint, in business situations they practice what they might say, and they often read books to learn what kinds of questions to ask to remain authentic and create a positive first impression.

And while all of that is important, it is the handshake, often overlooked and forgotten, that is the first physical information others receive about us at the early part of a relationship.

In other words, handshakes matter.

And a strong one can make a big difference.

An American colleague who has now been living and teaching in Japan for some time must agree, because she emailed me and part of the email reads:

Next week is the beginning of the school year - and I really want to get my new students off to the best possible start. Would you be willing to share your thoughts on how to give a really great handshake? I have been away from the U.S. for so long, and have few opportunities to practice (though my bowing has gotten really good :))

Here are the secrets to great handshakes, assembled to respond to her earnest request.

1. Start with eye contact and a smile. A great handshake isn’t just about a physical gesture, it is about connecting with the other person. It is a physical greeting and you want to convey your pleasure in greeting the other person. The best way to do that is with your face and your eyes.

2. Go for the thumb. Keep your hand open and make sure your handshake will be a hand shake, not a finger or palm shake. This means getting the joint of your thumb (the lower joint - the tissue between your thumb to your forefinger) nestled into the joint of their thumb. This allows you to truly have a full handshake.

3. Firm, not strong. A good handshake is firm but not overpowering. It isn’t the precursor to a wrestling match, and it doesn’t feel like a dead fish. Do you wanted to be handed or greeted with a dead fish? I doubt it! Always make your grip firm, but make adjustments based on the firmness of the other person’s grip.

4. Up and down, not back and forth. A good handshake has a nice up and down motion, not a back and forth one, as if you were jointly trying to saw some wood. Again, adjust the motion to what seems natural and comfortable to the other person.

5. Adjust duration. Some people prefer a long handshake, others prefer them much shorter. Observe the other person and adjust the duration to the situation, how well you know the person, and what seems comfortable to them.

6. Consider your left hand. While it may not be appropriate in some cultures, I often use my other hand to grasp the other side of the person’s hand or to touch their arm. This gesture makes the handshake warmer and more personal. When I am trying to convey those feelings I include my left hand as well. You might consider doing that too.

7. Close with eye contact and a smile. If the smile and eye contact hasn’t continued throughout the handshake, finish it out that way.

After re-reading and thinking about these secrets several times, I realized that the deeper key to handshakes (as with many things in life) is intention. Keep your focus on the other person, and you will naturally do many of the things on the list. You will make the handshake a natural part of your connection process. You will make eye contact. You will smile. You will connect. You naturally adjust your grip, etc. You will focus on the other person.

As a leader or a person responsible for interacting with Customers in any way, the value of this skill is obvious. The fact is though that having a great handshake is a life skill we should all cultivate. It matters to us in creating first impressions and in building relationships.

Thanks to my Dad for teaching me and thanks to Teresa for asking me the question.

Kevin is the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group (http://KevinEikenberry.com), a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. To receive your free special report on Unleashing Your Potential go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/index.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

One out of every ten Americans has a fear of talking to strangers. When you enter a room full of new faces, to start these conversations seems like an impossible task. You wait and wait and hope to God someone else says hello first, but the apprehensive silence persists. Then nobody talks to anybody.

This unwillingness to communicate will result in missed opportunities to meet new friends and make valuable connections. Your initial timidity takes time and practice to overcome. However, the more often you throw yourself into the sea, the less likely the waves are to bother you.

Below are four major roadblocks that stand in your way of starting conversations. The solutions to these problems will equip you with the motivation to stop falling asleep behind the conversational wheel.

The Fear of Rejection
They won’t say hello back to me. They won’t be interested in me. I will make a fool of myself.

This is the number one reason people don’t start conversations. However, practice will make this fear fade away. The more you often you start conversations, the better you will become at it. So, be the first to introduce yourself or say hello. When you take an active instead of a passive role, your skills will develop and there will be less of a chance for rejection. Also understand the gains vs. losses. For example, what’s so bad about a rejection from someone you don’t even know? On the other hand, a new contact awaits your introduction!

Nothing Good to Say
I can’t think of anything good to say. I never break the ice. Opening lines are difficult to put into action.

Be certain to ask open ended questions with such words as “How is…?” “Why are…?” and “What was…?” These questions elicit elaboration, explanation and show the other person you have taken an interest in them. Also give a compliment about something you’ve noticed followed by a related inquiry. Not only does this appeal to someone’s personal interests, but it flatters them and satisfies the number one human desire to feel appreciated. Finally, offer an interesting piece of knowledge or trivia. Facts like these are more engaging than the weather and will lead your conversation to new and exciting directions.

Uncertainty of Involvement
All of these people are strangers. I came into the conversation too late. I’m not sure how to get involved with the discussion.

Be an active listener. Make eye contact with the speaker. And, keep your ears open for iceberg statements. These are pieces of free information where ninety percent is under the surface ready to be talked about. For example, listen for an implied statement about someone’s family or a key phrase such as “independent contractor.” Be sure to smile, nod and respond with follow up inquiries. This allows you to become included as a part of the conversation.

Perception of Conversational Value
Small talk is a waste of my time. There’s no reason to interact to these people. I won’t gain anything if I say hello to the woman next to me.

Yes you will! You will gain something if you talk to the woman next to you. People start conversations for five reasons: to help, to learn, to relate, to influence and to play. Think of the potential value! And you never know whom you will meet. “Fear not to entertain strangers for in so doing some will entertain angels unaware.” Remember, some people enter into your lives and change it forever. But, until you own the attitude that every conversation will affect your life, whatever gain is accrued when you engage in social interaction will continue to be outweighed by your fear.

Ultimately, initiating the conversation is half the battle. It’s the most difficult part of interpersonal communication, and therefore an important skill to master. Overcoming your initial fear of rejection will come as you start more conversations, more often. When you use open ended questions which appeal to the needs and interests of others, the probability of rejection will significantly reduce. And, when you become a more active listener with the attitude that conversations do have value, you no longer have to worry about falling asleep behind the conversational wheel.

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, “The World’s Foremost Expert on Nametags” and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

Many times in my work as a grant writer and consultant, I am asked by my clients to contact a foundation about potential funding. I am happy to do this; it is part of my job and it helps for me to directly ask the questions that will effect what I write in the grant proposal, but I sometimes wonder if the client isn’t missing an opportunity by making that connection directly.

By the same token, when I am first meeting with a potential client, they often ask me if I have good connections with any local foundations. I do, I say, but then I think to myself that my connections are irrelevant; it’s their connections that matter.

This all bring up the question of whether or not having a connection inside a foundation is more important than what you put in your proposal. Whenever I teach grant writing or nonprofit fundraising planning I am asked about this common assumption, and whether or not it is true.

It is completely wrong, I tell my students, having connections won’t get you funding. Except in those situations where it does. Let me explain further.

Connections mean nothing

I can’t even count how many times I have submitted an un-invited grant proposal to a foundation based only on my research, without having even one phone conversation or email exchanged between us, and had that proposal fully funded.

On the other end of the scale, I have been in situations where a well-known foundation was wining and dining my co-workers and me, toasting us and what a great partnership we had, only to pull our funding two months later because of a “change in priorities.”

The bottom line here is that it doesn’t really matter how many friends you have on the inside. If your proposal is well written and clearly identifies how it is in line with the funder’s priorities you will be successful. If your proposal is not what the funder is looking for, or it simply isn’t clear what you want to do, you will fail. The best connections cannot save a lousy proposal or one that is completely outside the guidelines.

Relationships are everything

What I wrote above does not mean that you shouldn’t try to cultivate good relationships with your funders. The same courtesies and attention you put into your individual donors should be shown to your foundation and corporate sponsors as well.

While you can be very successful only submitting un-solicited proposals, you are always playing a numbers game. There are more good nonprofit projects and program proposals than there are charitable dollars to go around. You will receive your fair share of rejections along with the funded grants.

Where good relationships will help you is when it pays off in trust. When a decision is close, being known as a reliable nonprofit that meets its goals and is easy to work with can make all the difference.

Even better is when that relationship pays off with the foundation approaching you for a proposal before you approach them. While even an invited proposal is no guarantee of a grant, it does start you out on much better footing.

But it is up to you to build that reputation and that relationship through dependability and good communications. Respect your foundation officer’s time and only call with important questions, not just to gab or to complain, and be sure to thank them for their time. Likewise, be available when they call you with questions about your programs or to find out what your issues are. Submit your reports on time, using the format they provide, and don’t ask for any special favors or extensions.

Conclusion

Getting back to the clients who have me make their foundation calls; they’re not doing anything wrong by outsourcing that job, but they are missing a chance to get to know their funders better.

As for the clients who ask about my relationships as a pre-requisite to hiring me: my relationships can only go so far. For long-term funding they need to build long-term relationships, and those must be made from within the organization, not from an outside contractor.

To those students of mine who are new to the nonprofit sector and the world of grant writing, I say, don’t despair. Build your resumes first, with well-written proposals and successful programs, be yourself and be professional, and the relationships will develop in good time.

To all of them I say, remember, connections mean nothing: relationships are everything.

Ken Goldstein is a grant writer and nonprofit consultant working and living in Silicon Valley. Since 1989 he has been an executive director, a board member, volunteer, and consultant to nonprofits. His education includes a BA in Politics from UC Santa Cruz and a Master of Public Policy and Administration from CSU Sacramento. Goldstein Consulting can be found at http://www.goldsteinconsulting.com Ken is also the author of “Introduction to Fund Development Planning” - Please see http://www.fundraisingplanbook.com for more information.

(c) 2006 by K.R. Goldstein, all rights reserved. You may re-print or re-post this article only complete and un-edited, and including the author information, active web links, and copyright notice.