The Jeffrey And Tracey Info Emporium

You may be a fanboy and not know it. I’m here to clarify that.

There are many ways in which fans of geek culture are coming out of the closet - proud of who they are, striking dramatic poses while brandishing homemade superhero costumes…right guys? Are you with me here? Anyone?

Fanboy - n. (fan-boy) A person, male or female, who is a passionate fan of various elements of geek culture (e.g. sci-fi, comics, Star Wars, video games, anime, hobbits, Dungeons and Dragons, etc.), but who lets his passion override social graces (a dork).
I’m a fan boy. I’ve always been. I grew up in a veritable fantasy world. While most people acquaint fanboy with comic book/sci-fi connotations, I take it a step further to include the full spectrum of geek culture, as well as just being an addict of more accepted subculture (e.g. music, TV, & porn).
As a 12-year old in the early 80’s (please refrain from adding that up), my joys were simple and heartfelt. I often bucked trends to pursue my own hobbies, thinking I was unique in my obsessions. But over the years I’ve realized that others would share the same interests and prove to be just as dorky.
Nowadays, the evolution of ‘geek culture’ has reached mainstream acceptance. The power of the Internet makes information gathering infinitely easier to be exposed to this cultural explosion. It’s easy to find fans of “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “The Fellowship of the Rings,” and “Spiderman.” But before the bandwagon rolled in I was there for some hardcore fanboy behavior.

Here are 10 highlights from my life as a fanboy:
1. Star Wars - Classic film. Great toys. Speaking of which, one of my prized possessions is a 12″ fully posable Chewbacca action figure. This giant Wookie destroyed the other action figures, with his sheer size and coolness. He was so prized that I built houses made up of Dr. Seuss books for him to dwell in. And yes, girls were light years away.
2. Dungeons and Dragons Cartoon - On Saturday mornings, this fantastic cartoon documented kids in a fantasy world battling monsters and their quest to return home. I thought it was so phenomenal that I played the game and cut Saturday school classes that my parents paid big bucks for.
3. Professional Wrestling - I loved the British Bulldogs. These former WWF tag-team champions didn’t have goofy gimmicks (um…that bulldog they brought to the ring didn’t count), just excellence in skill. They influenced me to the point, that I would come up with games like “Duck, Duck, Snap Suplex,” in which we’d take the game of “Duck, Duck, Goose,” and instead of tagging your rival, you’d be able to do a devastating wrestling move. Nice boy, me.
4. Comic Books - I still have most of my collection of thousands of comic books. At the height of my collecting, I’d buy every single title that Marvel put out. Back then they had a line for kids (Star), a New Universe, and I would buy multiple issues of a potential collectors item - thinking I could sell for a profit in the future. What the comics did provide, was a reference for us fanboys, when we played superheroes. If a friend said, “Thor can’t do that,” I’d show an issue where his hammer went through Gabriel-Lan, the Air-Walker Automation, and bonk my buddy with my toy hammer.
5. Dungeons and Dragons - Yes. D and D. The game with the funny dice and the biggest losers in your school. Sure, I loved the fantasy element but I knew it was time to move on when one fanboy in my group made a song set to the tune of Joan Jett’s classic “I Love Rock and Roll” - but it went awry - “I love D and D…put another dwarf in the dungeon baby…I love D and D, c’mon take your ax and fight with me!”
6. Intellivision - This home-video gaming system was the biggest rival to Atari in the early 80’s. With better graphics and gameplay, I was the biggest proponent to this system. My fandom went so far that I wrote a poem in school with Intellivision and naked women featured prominently. During my all-guy applause, my 6th grade teacher had a heart attack.
7. Kung Fu Movies - Remember catching old-school kung fu movies on TV as a kid? For us in the NY area, we had the Drive-in Theater at 3 PM on Saturdays that would play all of those fantastic Shaw Brothers kung-fu movies were everyone had long hair, fantastic fighting skills, and horrible English dubbing. Possibly the most influential of all fanboy crushes (sorry Chewie), Kung Fu movies became an everyday game with friends and family and yet another strengthening bond with my father.
8. Overpower Card Game - A somewhat recent obsession - this card-based game features Superheroes (Wolverine, Spiderman, Sabretooth, etc.) and is played against another player who uses his own collection of Overpower cards. A simpler, yet just as geeky version of Magic: the Gathering. With some dedicated confidants, we’d buy packs, scream whenever a key card or hero was found, (actual quote: “If I get the Hulk in this pack, I’m throwing your little cousin out the window!”), and play anywhere and everywhere. I won’t even mention a specially made award that was created just for our first tournament.
9. Madonna - It was a short obsession but it was an obsession. I had the posters, the tapes, wrote her name on my sneakers. Thankfully I fell out of that addict mindset and discovered the music of Adam Ant, UB40, the Police, and Wham! (huh?)
10. Toys - As you can tell with my 12″ Chewbacca, I was obsessed with toys. One of my all-time favorites was a “Stretch Monster” doll. This green, ugly mother was the rival to “Stretch Armstrong.” Smelling like an old tire and just as heavy, the doll was made of heavy pliable material which would revert back to normal after pulling his arms and legs in different directions. Instructions strictly said not to freeze or cut this toy. Sure enough, I froze it and jabbed the toy with scissors. It was filled with reddish liquid. Curiosity sated, I threw the ruined toy away and went back to Chewbacca in his house of books.

About the author:

This now mature writer no longer plays with his Chewbacca action figure. He lost it. Please visit www.FanclubX.comfor more entertainment based fun.

I like to be around positive people, people who tend to be
happy, who look on the bright side of life. Far too many people
walk around in what seems like a depressed state. Come on
people, it costs nothing to smile.

I must admit, I used to be one of the ones who walked around in
a depressed state. I had many things on my mind, many things I
was not happy with, I used to feel so sorry for myself. Even
when I write about it now, I laugh about how pathetic I used to
be.

Things were about to change however. At the time a new employee
joined the company where I worked, his name was Stuart. Now this
may seem cruel but Stuart did not have a lot going for him. I
won’t go into details but lets just say I did not feel jealous
of his life. I became quite good friends with Stuart and we
would go to lunch together. I would meet him in the canteen at
1pm and would be waiting in my gloomy state of mind for him to
arrive. Arrive he certianly did, always with a beaming smile on
his face. We would sit down and talk whilst eating our lunch and
he never had a negative word to say. When he talked, he talked
with passion, about sports and films. One day it dawned on me,
if Stuart (who from what I know of him, seemingly has nothing)
can always be positive, happy and smiling, why can’t I?

This was the beginning of a new era in my life. An era of being
positive, appreciating what I have got and more than anything
else, plenty of smiles.

I have always enjoyed writing. Sometimes it’s a problem for me to just sit down and write something. There are days when I choose “procrastinating” over “proactive.” Putting things off is common with everyone. I am very gifted in this area.

Here are 4 areas to focus on to jumpstart your next writing session.

* Concentration

* Preparation

* The First Word

* Use your notebook

Concentration:

There are way too many distractions. Cell phones ringing, blaring car alarms and unexpected visitors are just a few things that can disrupt your concentration. It then becomes easier to justify not writing today.

The best thing to do to encourage creative writing is to make it a ritual. Find a nice spot to write, maybe, in a quiet room in your home where you will be left undisturbed for a period of time. Set a time to work; a scheduled time to write. Stick to it.

Keep reference books and materials close to hand.

Focus on one idea at a time.

View your next writing session as an opportunity; an opportunity to do something you enjoy. It can be fun. And when you are having fun nobody ever has to tell you to “concentrate!”

Preparation

Once you have your topic: Google it. Read everything you can online and offline related to your idea. Search the net for testimonials, reviews and articles about your topic. Brainstorm related sub-topics.

Give it a rest. Let your subconscious mind percolate and play with the information you provided. Get some exercise. Some of my best ideas come to me while I am out walking around in the evening.

Getting Started

Where to begin? That blank page staring back can be intimidating.

Just dive right in there!

Type the word “The.”

Type the next word (the first thing that pops into your mind) and the next word.

At this point, quality is not important. You just want to create a “flow” where the words come easily.

Don’t stop to edit. Save all your corrections for the second draft. Resist the impulse to rewrite. That will only interrupt the flow and is another way to avoid the task at hand.

If you are like me you will have a 2nd, third and fourth draft. You have to get your first draft completed before your have anything to rewrite! Stay focused.

Carry a Notebook

As a creative writer, you will be “hit” by odd ideas and notions in the oddest of places.

Maybe you are stuck in traffic or brushing your teeth when inspiration strikes.

You could wake from a dream and have a killer idea.

” I’ll remember that.” We say to ourselves, but when next we write there is no access to that memory file.

Just use a notebook. Jot those things down as they come to you. It only takes a moment.

Capture all your of your ideas as they transpire. Who knows? One of them may be the “Next Big Thing!”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Now You can Expand your Opportunities with FREE Tips & Resources about Affiliate Marketing, Making Money from Home,Website Development & Self-improvement for Both Sides of Your Brain! Discover… http://ExpandingMind.com

Did you ever notice that we’re surrounded by information but hardly ever come across an idea in the media that might help us lead sane and happy lives? Oh, not the usual self-help drivel about how to lose weight or enjoy sex, but answers to the really big questions, like what to think about when you wake up in the morning and how to drink water out of a plastic bottle without burping.

Try this experiment. Next time you go up to your favorite newsstand, scan all the overwrought front pages and smiley cover stories and try to find at least one suggestion that addresses the biggest questions your have about life. We’re not kidding around here. We’re talking about the big slam-dunk ideas that can actually help you get along with a commendable degree of rationality and happiness.

Of course, you’d think everybody would know enough about such mental resources by the age of sixteen or so, but, judging by the amount of craziness and misery in the world, even among supposedly intelligent people, apparently very few folks ever do marshal their defenses against life’s tribulations and their inspirations toward its delights.

For instance, how about Spalding Gray, whose recent successful foray into New York’s East River, shocked and depressed us all? What was he thinking? Or, going back a way to another misguided riverine escapade, take Robert Schumann, one of the brightest and most generous composers who ever lived. The distracted soul became so frantic and depressed, even with a cute and accomplished wife like Clara, that he walked into the Rhine in the middle of February and, having accidentally survived, begged to spend his last days in an insane asylum.

Obviously, there’s a real need here for some handiwork. So, to help make up for the pervasive vapidity of the usual media and not wanting anything untoward to happen to you, precious reader, but actually wishing you perpetual joy, we herewith present twelve ways to help jaunt through life sane and happy, at least, most of the time.

1. Believe you were born to be sane and happy. It helps you think better of what’s behind it all.

2. To be sane and happy, do great things, because it’s fun, helpful, and makes you feel good about yourself. It’s also generally, but not always, rewarding to be considerate and, if you can afford it, generous.

3. Let other people believe anything they want to and just be happy that they have something that helps them get through this frequently challenging life, unless what they believe is likely to hurt somebody else, especially you. Then just clear out. You can find better friends. If they’re part of your family, wait till they figure out how to love you on their own.

4. Take good care of your life and whatever “made it” will take good care of you, if it takes good care of anybody, providing, of course, it’s sane and happy enough for you to be concerned about, and we do hope and trust it is. Otherwise, why do birds sing, even if some of them, especially the caw-caw choir, obviously never went to music school?

5. Be nice to everybody who isn’t entirely despicable, because everybody else is at least as fragile and uncertain as you are, no matter how big his or her mouth is or how inconsiderate and selfish he or she can be.

6. Remember Philosophy 101 and big Ari’s two generally neglected chestnuts. One: happiness is more likely to come your way if you guide your life “according to reason,” instead of hearkening to the plenteous varieties of idiocy that are somehow still afoot in the world. Two: be guided by The Golden Mean, that is, avoid excess of any kind, primarily because it’s likely to get you into excessive trouble.

Notice, for example, how many people mess up their relationships because they don’t know that the quest for more and more generally leads to less and less, since that inconsiderate rampage negates the value of the individual, who happens to be the only person you can hug and kiss. Also notice how many celebrities are twisting on the agonizing spit of neediness, apparently unaware that infinite need can know no satisfaction.

7. Always keep the wholeness of your life in mind and never let a detail subordinate it and drive you completely to distraction, even when the detail is the person you love, telling you, “I just decided my happiness depends on kissing you goodbye.” Times like these are ideal to remember what your grandmother taught you: count your blessings.

8. Curse without feeling guilty. It’s an outlet that never hurt anybody. And what are words really but just sounds in the air? Never forget: the most forbidden word of all rhymes with luck.

9. Actually, don’t feel guilty about anything, unless you’re so perverse you actually hurt somebody else or, on rare occasions, yourself. Then you should feel really guilty, unless, of course, the other person was trying to hurt you. Then you should feel terrific for beating him or her off and he or she is the one who should feel really guilty.

To free yourself from guilt, we advise the following half-original remedy: See your superego, which may, unfortunately, be parked on your flattened ego, as an agglomeration of internal objects that represent the most influential people in your past. Pretend they’re in a jury box, observing you. They are probably not smiling and saying, “Do whatever you want to, sweetie. We love you and just want you to be happy.” No, they are probably frowning and wagging their fingers, sternly advising, “Don’t do that.” Or “How could you do that?”

Now, here’s the original part of the remedy: one by one turn these oppressive adjudicators upside down and bounce them on their heads.

This innovative tactic helps you realize they’re now just in your mind and therefore they’re within your control. You’ve “internalized them,” like Freud’s perpetually unhappy sons internalized the primal father, along with all of his troublesome rules, and, as Siggy tells us, now this stern but deceased terror is more powerful than ever, because he’s in their minds, even watching their most embarrassing thoughts.

As you no doubt know, helping most guilt-ridden people find a little space where they can breathe free is based on prying their garbage-truck-size superegos off their egos.

One easy way to kick the primal father in the butt is to realize that being able to think of every alternative is the very dynamic that let’s you decide, nobly or ignobly, what you’d actually like to do.

Who knows? With a little persistent head-bouncing, one day you may be able to dismiss the entire jury.

10. Enjoy sex and alcohol. You were born to enjoy the first, and you need to enjoy the second.

Amazing how many people take responsibility for the fact that they have normal desires. Relax. You didn’t design the setup. Your job is just to live with it. Obviously, nature believed in pleasure more than any moralizer you’re likely to come across, at least, when he or she is speaking in public.

Second, ever notice how people who don’t drink are usually really uptight and frequently get pale about the age of 40, lock up, and eventually stroke out. Your body needs a nice, reliable way to relax, especially in a workaday world that’s all set up to stress out even The Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz, and the thing booze has over pills is that it tastes good.

Just don’t get drunk, because you’ll feel sick and maybe get arrested for DWI or kill some innocent person or other drunk who’s driving toward you.

11. Don’t worry about when the sun is going to burn out. You have more immediate concerns.

12. If you become overly concerned about what may await you when the curtain comes down on your life, remember how many problems you had before you were born. If still concerned, consult sane and happy hint number seven, sentence two.

Bonus idea. We said only twelve but we have another big idea, alluded to, for comic effect, at the start, that we can’t resist sharing for good luck.

13. How to drink out of plastic bottles.

Surprisingly, there is a way to drink water out of a plastic bottle without inhaling so much air you have to burp revoltingly three or four times. Astonishingly enough, there is also a way to drink soda out of a big plastic bottle without the bubbly getting flatter as the bottle gets emptier.

When you drink right out of a bottle of water, especially Poland Spring, which, as you may have noticed, has an orifice so tiny you almost think the company doesn’t actually want you to drink it, just buy it. Place the rim on your lower lip so that the upper part of the curve is still exposed to the air. Then you can pour it down, instead of sucking on it like a desperate baby dealing with a retentive nipple.

With big bottles of soda, each time you pour a glass, squeeze it until there’s very little air in it and then put the cap on tightly. Now, there’s hardly any space for the fizz to evaporate into. Admittedly, the flattened, bent thing will look odd in your refrigerator but at least the bubbly stuff will stay tangy.

Unfortunately, this resourceful trick doesn’t work with champagne, because it obviously doesn’t come in plastic bottles, at least, not yet.

We assume that now you’re ready to face life, prepared for any eventuality, which, if experience is any indication, will contain the usual confoundedly unpredictable mix of devastations and delights, which, if you really think about it, is the main thing that makes life mind-teasingly interesting.

Tom Attea, creator of Newslaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing “”delightfully funny” and “witty” with “good, genuine laughs.”

This article may only be reproduced in its entirety, including
the resource box and subscription information electronically or
in print. A courtesy copy of your publication would be nice, too!

Love Sells By Dan Reinhold

It’s true, you know.

Love DOES sell.

And I DON’T mean it as a synonym for that three-letter word you
usually hear…

I mean love in the greatest possible sense.

Or as psychologists like to call it, “unconditional positive
regard”. No kidding.

Funny thing about all this relationship building stuff going
on…if you’re not genuinely sincere about it, it comes through.

EVEN online.

Think about that person you’ve just met (or just introduced
themselves to you) as a sale, you may very quickly lose a
potential friend/mentor/confidant/collaborator.

And a whoooollllleeee bunch of sales.

It’s a pretty simple formula: I help you, you help me -or I help
you WHILE you help me.

WCIDFY (What can I do for you?) rules, WIIFM (you know that one)
drools.

What goes around, comes around, stuff like that…people
actually do remember the good you do for them, more often than
not.

On the other hand, they never forget the UNgood you do, for
sure…

You give of yourself up front, the rest’ll take care of itself
somehow.

When you HELP others, they’ll THINK well of you…and when it
counts too.

It’s not only the right thing to do, it’s the right way to
develop your business.

There’s good reasons why www.WAHumor.com ’s motto is displayed
on our forum for all to see:

Live, Laugh, Love And Lend A Helping Hand.

Good reasons for everybody.

With two boys, a dog, a cat, a wife and a household to keep
together to boot, Dan Reinhold is the editor of WAHumor to hang
on to his sanity by showing how insane the work-at-home
community can be. Work at home? You deserve a laugh!

Subscribe at WAHumor-subscribe@topica.com Who knows…you may
Win Big! The Book…is coming!!

The two writers laughed aloud as I ended the story. Not that it was the kind of thing that one likes to hear in the morning. Some would quickly go on their knees and pray that the “cup” passes next door. But pray as they might, it is a “cup” that we all must drink from.

By cup, I am not referring to the cups of tea in our hands that we now resumed to enjoy after telling them the story. DD Phil, the romance writer who the ladies like to call Filemon, with a stress on the last syllable, was looking dreamily. Sitting with his right hand supporting his chin, his left on the chair, and the suspended tea cup on the table, one would have thought that he was plotting a scene in his next fantasy novel.

Of course, the story that I was telling them was more fantasy than real. What is real again in this world? For Val K the poet, sitting with all the cares in this world—his legs wide apart as the poles—everything (and that includes life) is poetry. It is no wonder that someone says, “Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.”

Whether the story was a comedy or a tragedy is another matter. But it was a story about life. And whether life stories are sweet or bitter is for you to judge. Look at the verdict of these people.

A chief of King Edwin says: “The present life of man is like a sparrow.” Apostle James, a Bible writer, calls it “a mist that appears for a while and then disappears.”

But the story was more about equivocations—double tongues. And is life not a tale of equivocations? So, after I finished the story, we resumed our tea drinking and compared the story with other equivocal tales.

The first to come to mind was King Croesus who went to consult the oracle before embarking on a major military expedition. He was assured that if he went to war, a mighty empire would fall. He believed and went to do battle. But the empire that fell was his!

And then there was Macbeth who was thoroughly deceived by the witches. He didn’t think that tress “move” and he never believed that there was any man not “born” of a woman. But he was dead wrong. Equivocation did both people in.

The best of such double tongues, however, was that of the great hinter who was warned that he was to be killed by an animal on a certain day. So the finicky hunter refused to step into the bush on that day. But lying in his room, the head of one the animals that he had killed which he had suspended on a rafter, got loose and landed a death-blow on his head!

When I got the message to proceed to the country with God speed, however, the first thing that came to my mind was not a word that began with letter E. And then the message became more incessant: You must come home in December. I refused the invitation. Yet, my people sent an emissary who spoilt the case for not explaining why I was wanted back home. So I tarried in the city, waiting for the war of the cyclpos.

January 10, 2005. I sat down to read a letter from home. And then came the sentence: “The juju priest who said you will die in December died that very month and has been buried.” That was when I knew the reason for the distress call in December. I had been required to come and to make sacrifices to impotent gods to survive December. Pity the “authoritative,” “all knowing” juju priest. Didn’t know that death is everywhere. Didn’t know that he was prophesying his own death. Didn’t know that I was enjoying my tea way back in December. Equivocation.

Mohandas Gandhi said: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you would live forever.” That has been my guiding principle. Who is afraid of death? Someone said “the tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.” What matters in the end is not how long we live. But “it’s the life in your years, said Abraham Lincoln. So the question that we should ask ourselves is, How would I be remembered? Not a few people care if they were remembered for vileness. But even if you were known in your lifetime for some spectacular achievement, it adds to nothing.

If the Bible were a book of epitaphs, the second verse of Ecclesiastes is dear to my heart. It simply states: “The greatest vanity! Everything is vanity!” And that’s the dinkum oil.

As we take our tea, with DD Phil and Val K happy that their controversial writer is still alive, the fact remains that we must die of something someday. And if my people supposing I was dead had wept over me and buried my effigy, I will have the singular honor or infamy of being mourned and buried twice.

Yet it is good to be alive.

So even if I were to pass on tomorrow, let it be known that the priest LIED. I drank tea in December.

Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows!, How to Write a Best-seller, A Letter to Noah, and many other works. For his works and FREE help for writers, goto:
http://controversialwriter.tripod.com
Mailto: controversialwriter@yahoo.com
Web search: Arthur Zulu

About the author:

Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and published author.

My family calls me “The Bomber”, not because I’m into explosives, but because I have the first pair of Bausch and Lomb aviator sunglasses ever made, making me look like an air force bombardier pilot. I also love bombing around town in my pickup truck.

They also call me “bomber” because I can be a curmudgeonly old coot at times, at which point, it is probably a good idea to stay out of my way. One of those times is when I hear marketing hoopla that makes me want to grab someone by the throat and watch them turn blue.

Readers beware. Words can lure us into a delusional sense of reality. It is called false advertising. Words can glamorize, sensationalize, and mesmerize. Changing the name or intent of something is one of those luring techniques used as an advertising strategy that is right up there in the b. s. category and I don’t mean Bachelor of Science.

Business answering machine messages are tops on my b. s. list. They are part of a business’ overall image, making it important to mean what you say on your message. How about the message that states, “Your call is important to us.” There are times when it seems as though I’m on hold for twenty years, especially when I’m trying to get an answer from my HMO (make that thirty years). By the time they get back to me, it’s time to make funeral arrangements.

I remember when the words “house trailer” were replaced with “mobile home”. Now they’re called manufactured homes. “Mobile home” sounds better to me, giving me a sense of freedom. The words “mobile home” make me want to get-up-and-go, appealing to my spirit of adventure. Manufactured home, on the other hand, sounds like it was thrown together yesterday with spit and toothpaste. I get the feeling that the down draft from a sixteen-wheeler would blow it into another County.

I live in a cozy, two-bedroom townhouse (meaning small), with an honest message on my answering machine that says, “leave a number, I’m writing and don’t want to be bothered”; which is probably why I only have two friends, one of which is my cat, and a loving family who affectionately refers to me as, “The Bomber”.

Copyright © 2005 by Pamela Beers. All rights reserved.

Pamela Beers is a freelance writer, educator, and horse trainer who enjoys poking fun at the establishment. You may visit her website at http://www.pamelabeers.com

People are always curious as where do humorists get their wacky
ideas all the time. Once awhile you may hit upon a funny line or
silly joke, but to churn out an endless stream of funny ideas is
no joke(no pun intended).

So, where and how do the professional comedy writers do it? It’s
all up in the head and the deep secret is the thinking process.
The combination of creativity and imagination is the first step
that will lead your thoughts to the funny finish.

To be imaginative and creative, you got to let your mind wander
freely and illogically even to absurdity. Don’t be inhibited.
Many a times, the best joke appeared in the most unexpected
combination.

Here are five techniques which you can generate humorous ideas:

1.Incongruity - by pairing of opposites or contrasts. 2.Reverse
- by switching or reverting of situations. 3.Similarity - by
pairing of the same or similar things, person or situations
4.Words - by using puns, oxymorons, cliches and figure of speech
5.Switches - by using others’ideas only as a starting point.

These are the four essential elements of humor:

1.Surprise - unexpected twist to the ending 2.Realism - truth or
logic that can be related to or recognised 3.Exaggeration -
simple distortion to the extent of absurdity 4.Victim - the butt
of the joke

I am not the author of this is but it is cool and WERID!

Chinese Horoscope,

THIS IS TOO FUN……

AMAZINGLY ACCURATE
Whatever you do, don’t cheat!

CHINESE HOROSCOPE :

THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON,

WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE
CHINESE NEW YEAR

FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS -

DO NOT CHEAT

OR IT WON’T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.

TAKE 3 MINUTES

TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.

THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID

HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL

NO CHEATING !!!!

THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.

DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.

IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY

1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU
ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good
results.

4th. SCROLL DOWN

ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD

otherwise

YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.

1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a
COLUMN on
the
LEFT.

2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 &2,

WRITE DOWN ANY

2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?

3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 &7,

WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS

OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.

CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT

4. WRITE ANYONE’S NAME

(like FRIENDS or FAMILY…)
next to4, 5, &6.

DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID

5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, &11

6. Finally,

MAKE A WISH

ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE

KEY TO THE GAME

1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in

SPACE 2

2. THE PERSON IN SPACE

3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE

3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in

SPACE 7

4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in

SPACE 4

5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO

KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.

6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR

LUCKY STAR

7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE

PERSON IN NUMBER 3

8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE

PERSON IN 7

9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT

YOUR MIND

10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU

FEEL ABOUT LIFE

11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR

LUCKY NUMBER

SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF

10 PEOPLE

WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.

IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE

STRANGE HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK.

About the Author

Dr. Jeff Banas
www.personal-weight-loss-help.com

Back in ancient times, oh say about 10 BV (Before Video games,) when a kid had nothing to do on a summer day, things got pretty difficult. Unlike today, when a kid can veg out for extended periods racking up points on any number of video game titles, children with nothing to do had a real dilemma on their hands. They could either go home and get caught up in some kind of chore their parents would press them into performing, or accept the challenge of grabbing boredom by the nose and kicking it in the butt.

In case there is ever a serious power shortage, here is one boredom breaker the 8-12 year old kids in my old neighborhood used to pull for something different to do.

One day, we grabbed an official looking hard hat, a heavy whistle, a plastic badge, and a wide leather belt. Hooking the belt from shoulder to waist on a slant across the chest, donning the hard hat, pinning on the badge, and taking the whistle, we moved to the nearest low traffic intersection to begin experimenting with how well a kid could do at directing traffic. Whenever a car came along to the stop sign, we would walk out into the intersection, blow the whistle, and point authoritatively in the direction we wanted the driver to go. To our surprise, almost every driver went in the direction we indicated without question, which was intentionally opposite the one we thought they wanted to go.

On one occasion, the driver lowered his window and asked why he could not go the way he wanted to take. My brother was manning the post for this incident, and he was not usually acknowledged for being quick on the uptake. However, when the driver asked why he had to turn, my brother shouted back impatiently, “Oil!” With a flourish of bravado, my brother blew the whistle in two quick bursts, and in a squatting turn, swept both his extended arms in the direction he wanted the driver to take. The driver shrugged his shoulders, and turned the car as instructed. It was our best shot of the day.

I may not be able to recall my best score at Mario years from now, but I can still remember directing traffic for the first time. Sometimes it is good to be forced to invent.

Director of Software Concepts
BHO Technologists - LittleTek Center http://home.earthlink.net/~jdir.