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How Your Dating Life Could Affect Your Marriage

If you’ve ever wanted motivation to work on your semi-serious dating relationship, here’s some: Experts say that people who are able to sustain lasting relationships before they marry stay married longer and are more likely to be married for life than those whose pre-marital relationships don’t last very long. That means that by working on your current relationship, even if you don’t end up marrying that person, you are contributing to the success of your future marriage.

Relationships aren’t always easy. In the beginning, the level of passion and excitement you feel for the other person drowns out the things that aren’t so desirable. You are so excited about being around him that you quickly forget about his annoying humming and the fact that he disagrees with you politically. But, as with all relationships, the new eventually wears off and what didn’t bother you before becomes a major annoyance or issue.

The change is due to the ever increasing intimacy between the two of you. The more you are around each other, the more the “little things” began bothering you. This isn’t all bad. It means that you care. When something on TV annoys you, you simply turn the channel because you have no commitment or intimacy to the channel or the person annoying you on the screen. But when you have even small levels of commitment and intimacy you have greater potential to become disturbed by some of the other person’s actions because they are a major part of your life.

Expect it

I’m telling you all this so that you can expect annoyances and issues to make your relationship less effortless and natural than it was in its beginning. That’s not time to quit. Not only does a human being deserve more from you (and you from another), but you need to “practice” the commitment levels that will be necessary in a marriage.

If you break the relationship off at the first sign of conflict you have hurt youself in two ways:

1. You might have married this person if you had whethered the difficult days and come out even closer to each other than before the trouble began.

2. You didn’t allow yourself to learn how to function in a relationship that was experiencing difficulty. When you marry, there will be times of difficulty, arguments, hurt feelings, annoying habits and anger. If you canceled a pre-marriage relationship because it wasn’t all “smooth sailing,” it will be much more difficult on you when you actually marry and experience friction.

Know When to Fold ‘Em

I’m certainly not saying that any relationship should be forced. A person can only stand so much before enough becomes enough. However, I am saying that one of the best indicators of who will make a “good spouse” might be how he or she reacts to conflict in your relationship. If she can’t handle a little conflict before marriage, it will be difficult for her to handle it when you’re married.

If anything else, consider conflict as a personal challenge. Not a reason to call off your relationship, but an opportunity to test your ability to stay committed despite difficult times. Some will handle this better than others. If you notice a constant pattern of conflict, it might help you decide against continuing your relationship. But the bottom line is, don’t give up at the first sign of conflict so that you’ll have some experience when it happens in future relationships and so that you don’t ditch “Mr. (or Mrs.) Right” because you had a few wrong days.

© 2005 Lee Wilson. All rights reserved.

Lee Wilson is on staff at Family Dynamics Institute. Family Dynamics attempts to prevent marriage problems by helping couples who are already in troubled marriages and by teaching those in good marriages to prevent major issues before they happen. Lee combats marriage problems from another angle with his web site for Christian singles by helping them find compatibility in possible marriage candidates. Lee hopes that his efforts will help to decrease the divorce rate around the world.

You’re ready to try online dating. You’ve polished your profile,
and your best friend has concluded that you are so attractive
that even they would like to date you. It’s come to that time!
Somebody online who posted a dating personal wants to see what
you look like. What picture of yourself will you paint when you
display a photo along with your profile?

There are a few guidelines that apply to online dating photos
that you should observe which will improve your profile. These
are as follows:

1. Do add at least one photo of yourself to your profile! If you
don’t, you’re seriously putting yourself at a disadvantage. Many
people search only for people who have uploaded photos. Still
others don’t like the idea of a “blind date,” and won’t go
through with a meeting if they haven’t seen what you look like.

2. Remember that you are trying to be a salesperson here; you’re
trying to sell yourself. Look at the photographs of other people
on the online dating site. Is yours similar? If so, you will not
stand out from the crowd! The photo you post should be good
quality.

Do yourself a favour and forget the shot that someone took of
you when you were at a nightclub last month, cut off just to one
side where your ex was still in the photo. There are tons of
photos like this, and they don’t make people want to find out
more! Your profile will be more attractive than if you hadn’t
posted a photo, probably, but you’re still not going to stand
out from the crowd and do yourself justice. Ask yourself what
you would want to see if you were a member of the target
audience (usually the opposite sex), looking at your profile for
the first time, and be critical.

At the very least, have a photo taken of yourself for the
express purpose of using with your dating profile. You don’t
need to have had it done professionally, although it certainly
wouldn’t hurt! I suggest you find yourself someone who has a
digital camera (or have them borrow yours) and can take photos
well, and offer them a pint or three to take several photos of
you. Get them to take a fair number of photos (20 or so),
perhaps on different settings, because not all of them may work
well, and because you then have a good selection to choose from.

Choose your backdrop carefully! A nice simple approach is to go
to a field or a beach when it’s near sunset, and have photos
taken of yourself against this background. The background you
choose should show yourself in a romantic or fun setting, and
your clothes should be appropriate to that setting.

How about an interesting alternative? If you know somebody who
is good with art packages such as Paint Shop Pro, have them
paint out the background, and change the photo so that it looks
like a spotlight is shining on you!

3. It may be a good idea to try and improve the photo, as is
often done of photos of models in advertising. If you have any
obvious, but small, disfigurements, these could be airbrushed
out with a painting package. If you can’t do it yourself, you
probably know someone who can do it for you. Don’t go overboard
with this; make sure the photo still looks like you!

4. Don’t be tempted to lie by posting a photo of George Clooney
or Catherine Zeta Jones, unless of course you really are one of
those people! The photo must be one of yourself, otherwise when
it comes to a face-to-face meeting, the relationship could be
over before it’s even begun!

5. This tip is not well-known. Add a border to your photo,
coloured the same as the hyperlinks on the target site. The
reason for this is partly to make your photo stand out, but also
because most photos shown on online dating agency sites are also
links to your profile. Your photo will then look like a link,
and it increases the chance of it being clicked on. If there is
any “outside” to your photo, this should then have the exact
same colour as the background of the site. This can be found by
using Alt-Print Screen to grab an image of your web browser when
on the dating site, then pasting it into an art package, and
identifying the colour from there. (Note that some online dating
agency sites already supply borders around images; the trick
will not work on these.)

6. If you have several photos of you doing interesting
activities and the site permits it, post one photo of you doing
each activity in addition to your head-and-shoulders shot. For
example, photos of you skiing while on holiday; photos showing
you braving the rapids in white-water rafting; photos of you
doing your favourite sport. They help to prove that you do the
things you say you do in your profile, and they make your
profile more interesting!

What a silly thing to say, don’t you think? Not necessarily when you know the power of creating a single photographic collage.

Col-lage n. An artistic composition of materials and objects pasted over a surface, often with unifying lines and color.

7 Powerful Uses Of Creating Collages:

1. To break up the mental image that is fear. Collage images that represent fear and see what happens to your state of mind. Very surprising and powerful!

2. To create a visual of your dream life to magnetically attract your dreams into your life. This is sometimes referred to as Treasure Mapping.

3. To break through your conscious riddence of your inner self. Have you trained yourself to be an “adult” and put away the passions of your childhood? Your collage can reveal the part of yourself that you have forgotten if that is your purpose.

4. To communicate a negative feeling you have to someone who cannot understand your verbal message. Our minds think in pictures. Through pictures we can convey what language cannot.

5. Purely as a work of art. Collage art can be very expressive and beautiful. It offers an opportunity for the uses of all sorts of multi-media such as texture objects, metal, paper, etc.

6. To reveal a thought pattern you may not realize about yourself. As you share your collage with others for comments, they may notice something in yours that you hadn’t realized. Suddenly you notice something about yourself without the other person even noticing your discovery.

7. To create a visual journal of your life and passions in life. Bring your favorite life experiences forward photographically. Remember photographs used as collage have overlapping edges. They are not lined up in straight rows like in a photograph album. It’s a great technique to use in creating a scrapbook.

All in all creating collages is a powerful tool to use when you are stuck in any way. Fear will leave you stuck. Break it up with a collage of photographs that represent fear.

Stuck for ideas? Create a collage of photographs that represent stagnation. You will be very surprised.

Wondering where you can easily get the pictures for your collage?

Here are some ways:

1. Use outdated magazines and tear out pages that seem to represent your theme or feeling.

2. Use family photographs

3. Join a clip art website for a week and look through all their photographs and save the ones that stand out for you.

4. Use scraps of paper, fabric, various texture items like flower petals, grass, leaves, etc.

5. Spend the day at Lake Pawtuckaway in Nottingham, New Hampshire Oct 15 and create your collage with all materials supplied for a day! See http://www.discoveryourinnersoul.com

Collages can be made from any group of objects or photographs you desire. They can be for almost any purpose.

Create a collage and see what happens!
Copyright 2005 Juanita Bellavance

Juanita Bellavance, the author of this article, is offering FREE Conditional Coaching Consultations for a limited time. . If you don’t get coaching, your dreams can stay delayed indefinitely. Call Today and find out the difference coaching can make for you. To schedule your session, Call 888-836-2735 ext 2 FREE Recorded Message. Or you can email your request to assureyoursuccess@assuredsuccesslifecoach.com with FREE Consult in the subject line. Visit Juanita’s website at: http://www.assuredsuccesslifecoach.com What the heck is Brainspeak? Go here and see: http://www.assuredsuccesslifecoach.com/Brainspeak/

There is a phenomenon quietly sweeping across the internet.
It’s a website called MySpace.com. In the early part of 2000,
MySpace.com purpose was relatively undefined allowing registered
users to store and share data files. After some growing pains
the MySpace.com site was revamped and has evolved into a popular
online community.

MySpace.com allows you to communicate with friends through an
interactive network of blogs, forums, groups, photos, bulletins,
emails, and user profiles. Taking the website to the next level
MySpace.com allows users to add profile pictures, hide your
online status and manage comments. In addition to their chat
rooms, the Instant Messenger allows one-on-one communications.
Presently Myspace.com has over 20 million user profiles that let
members post comments, rank profiles, view more pics and watch
videos.

Currently, there are over 3 million forum posts on MySpace.com
with an estimated 300,000 topics. On MySpace.com you can
download all types of music from alternative rock, hip hop,
heavy metal, classic rock, folk and jazz. You can also watch
videos from bands such as Nine Inch Nails to Chemical Romance.
MySpace.com free multimedia feature makes it one of the most
popular websites on the internet. MySpace.com makes it easy for
computer novice to layout customized profile pages without
knowing html codes.

MySpace.com has recently become a great place to download songs
from local bands, musicians and artists. Musical artists can
create profiles that allow them to post streaming MP3s. For
local bands this method has become a gateway to creating a
larger fanbase. The best part about MySpace.com is the “event
invite” feature that bands are now using to personally invite
fans to shows.

MySpace.com is a social network that makes it easy for friends
and family to talk online, singles to meet other singles,
professionals to network with other professionals, students to
keep in contact with classmates or families to search for
distance relatives.

Best of all every feature and functions on MySpace.com is a
free. So, whether you’re a guy or girl, an Ashley, Jessica or
Mike you too can setup your personal MySpace.com profile page.
MySpace.com is a great online hangout spot for you and your
friends. So check it out!

Gene Doping. Read it again. Gene Doping. This will most likely be the biggest problem in the world of professional sports, and we unfortunately won’t have to wait long. Doping experts say that we might see the first cases of this “sci-fi” method of doping during the 2008 Beijing Olympics. It will be the most talked about issue during the 2012 London Olympics.

Doctor Hemmersbach, anti-doping lab at Aker University Clinic in Oslo says “We don’t think anybody is currently using gene doping, but we estimate that it’s about five years in the future. It’s an extremely complex field, and using gene technology as doping requires incredible expertise”. Hemmersback is part of the IOC’s Medical Commission Games Group, tasked with EPO and gene doping. We will most likely see it used in race horses and race dogs initially, but chances are good for it to transfer onto the arena of professional sports.

Currently, it is almost impossible to detect any manipulation of genes, but the good news for anti-doping agencies is that researchers are very likely to find ways detect it. Gene doping is dangerous for the user, since it involves injecting viruses into the body. This can lead to various diseases, such as cancer. Unfortunately, history has shown that some athletes are willing to take such risks. Just look at the problems that EPO caused when we knew less about it. Thickening of the blood and rapid drop in blood pressure would be countered by the cheating athlete by setting the alarm at night in order to get up and move around. This would increase blood pressure and blood flow, most of the time…

I am a full-time endurance athlete, working towards the 2012 London Olympics. I maintain a blog, describing my ups and downs of training / racing.
http://roadrace1.blogspot.com

I am unashamed to copy the peak performance techniques of peak performers.

Since “imitation is the highest form of flattery,” I am pleased to flatter one whose success I admire.

After all, I am after the success. Originality is great, but reaching my goal is the issue.

However, there are limits.

Olympic champion swimmer Michael Phelps, winner of six goal medals and eight overall, likes hip-hop. Some even follow the word “hip-hop” with “music.”

When asked, “What do you think about when you are in the water?” he responds, “When I’m swimming one thing that’s going through my head is doing anything I can to get my hand on the wall first.

“Sometimes it doesn’t always happen but there’s always a positive thought in my mind.

“And also I’m singing a song in my head … whatever I was listening to before I got into the water.”

That song is likely to be Eminem’s “Till I Collapse,” Notorious B.I.G.’s “Ready To Die,” or something from Twista.

(Ah, right. I could do a search, but maybe later.)

“I just like the sound of hip-hop,” Phelps says. “I love Jay-Z and 50 Cent and I’m a huge Biggie (Smalls) fan. I listen to rap on the way to practice and whatever I’ve been playing just loops through my head as I swim.”

And his daily workout lasts two-and-a-half hours and covers ten miles.

Fortunately, I suspect that audio art forms besides hip-hop (or, perhaps, an actual form of music), played on the internal audio system will also occupy the conscious mind and unleash the power of the unconscious.

So, whenever you have to engage the mind and body for an extended period, play your own internal music.

Fortunately, peak performance is the issue and there’s no accounting for taste.

Copyright 2004 by Tony Papajohn. Tony writes and speaks on success. Subscribe to his free SuccessMotivator e-zine at http://www.successmotivator.com.

I believe that the right to die should, in most cases, be a personal matter and not a political matter (I am talking for adults, not for children. Children, and I include teenagers in this, have not lived long enough and do not have enough life experience to decide their own fates. Some of them think the world is at an end if they get a bad grade or a pimple.). While I am a Republican (I just can’t stand the thought of aligning myself with far left fanatics like Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Harry Reid, etc..), I disagree with many Republican ideals. One of those ideals is the right of the government, state or federal, to decide if I have “the right to die” on my own terms.

Prosecuting Doctors or others for helping someone achieve their goal in a painless way or for assisting them when they can’t do it themselves is just a means of stopping people from exercising their freedom to decide their own fate. Doctors are supposed to be here in order to help alleviate pain and suffering. For some politician to decide that he or she knows better than the patient and his or her doctor is the ultimate exercise in ego. Politicians are not gods and they should not have the right to enforce their beliefs on others. If a person is capable of ending their life on their own they can do so, as no law can punish them after they are dead. Therefore, the only way that politicians can force their beliefs on others is to make it illegal for Doctors or loved ones to assist someone who can not do it on their own. This forces the person to live no matter how great the suffering.

I don’t want to die right now, but if I did, I would hate the thought that a group of politicians, who don’t know me or know my circumstances, could force me to keep on living, because they think that they know what’s best for me. It’s my life and the only one that should be allowed to decide what’s in my best interest, is me. As long as I’m not harming others, it should be my decision as to how to live my life and as to when and how I end my life. For strangers to be allowed to make those decisions for me, is to me, just plain wrong.

For various health reasons, I have been in pain for the last thirty (30) plus years. For the last four years I have been in constant (24 hours a day) fairly severe pain, yet I have chosen to live (Note: While some of my problems are progressive, they are not, unless I live a very long time, terminal.). I am not now nor have I ever been afraid to die. Dying is easy, it’s living that is hard. I choose to live for my loved ones. They are more important than the pain I am enduring. They love and need me, therefore I need to be here for them. Because I love them, their welfare is more important to me than anything else. However, I would hate to be forced to live if I was terminally ill, in constant pain, incuring huge medical bills and couldn’t take care of myself or my family. I’m not saying that I would commit suicide, but I am saying that it should be my decision and not some politicians decision. My decision should be based on how I feel it will help or harm my loved ones and on my religious beliefs at that time, not on the religious beliefs of some stranger. That stranger doesn’t feel my pain, doesn’t know what it is or is not doing to my family and doesn’t suffer my loss of dignity.

I realize that many religions, my own included, believe that taking your own life, for any reason, is a sin and will cause you to be cast down. I hope that that is not true, however, as God has never spoken to me, I have no way of knowing for sure. Therefore, I personally, would probably, at this time, elect to live no matter how bad things became. I love my wife and sons and would hate to take the chance that they would go one place while I went elsewhere. I like the thought that after I die, I may be, someday, reunited with them for all eternity. This, however, does not give me or anyone else the right to decide that others have to live, no matter what their circumstances. Just as I want the right to decide my own fate, I believe that others should have the right to decide their own fates.

This is America “the land of the free” and we are supposed to have religious freedom, liberty and the right to happiness. For politicians to force their beliefs on us in these types of matters is, I believe, wrong, immoral, cruel and un American, because by doing so they are taking away our religious freedom, our liberty and our right to happiness (If someone is forced to suffer needlessly they are not happy.). I believe in giving up some freedom when it is for the good of the country or for the safety of my loved ones. I don’t believe in giving up rights when it is for the good of some politician’s ego or beliefs. Politicians should stop trying to protect everyone from themselves. That’s not why they were elected.

Please don’t take this article as saying that I am pro or anti suicide. All I am saying is that how one ends one’s life should be a personal matter. It should not be for strangers to decide or control.

David G. Hallstrom, Sr. is a retired private investigator and currently publishes several internet directories including www.resourcesforattorneys.com a legal and lifestyle resources directory for attorneys, lawyers and the internet public. For more lifestyle information see lifestyle.resourcesforattorneys.com, the Lifestyle directory from Resources For Attorneys.

Saturday I was hangin’ ten on my Dell when I ran across a Christian Forum. Not just any Christian forum, THE Christian Forum. How did I know? It said so: ChristianForum.com.

I looked at a couple of the posts and thought it might be cool to sing a few lines of “Pass It On” while holding cyber-hands with my bros around the warm glow of a CRT. Just like camp.

Kinda made me misty…

So I checked out the registration and applied. Being the self-promoter I am, I chose “WhoreChurchcom” as my user name. Couple of extra visitors can’t hurt, huh?

So I hit submit expecting to be ushered into the stained glass chat rooms of cyberdom.

Drats! they have to approve me first. Just when I was ready to test my speedy typing skills.

My hunger for fellowship still burning in my gut, I fire up Google and search for “Christian Forums”. Sure ‘nuff, there’s quite a few out there. I settled on one and clicked.

With blazing T1 speed, I was propelled to the hallowed halls of CrossWalk.com.

I quickly located the registration form and entered my information. With no little amount of anxiety I hit “submit”, hoping against all hope that no moderator had to approve my admission, denying me precious moments of blessed fellowship.

Hallelujah! All I had to do was confirm my email address and I was in! A few moments and I was there: In The Cyber Cathedral with Hundreds, nay Millions of my Fellows.

A topic caught my eye: “Walking in Truth.” I read with great anticipation my Brother’s thoughtful post. Did I have a word of encouragement? Correction? Addition? My fingers, Matrix-like, became a blur over the keyboard. First one post, then two.

I was in the Holy-Spirit-Helpin’-Zone.

Within a few moments I had helped five of my fellow pilgrims. Spent, I collapsed in my chair. Emotionally drained yet strangely fulfilled. I was a part of The Body.

Needing sustenance, I used the last of my strength to stumble to the refrigerator where I passed out. I heard an angel saying, “Get up, the journey is too much for you,” placing a Diet Coke in my weakened hand and one of my wife’s oatmeal cookies in my mouth.

Strengthened by the Angel Food, I returned to my chair. Had another caring soul responded to my posts? Is there a word of encouragement for me? A “Thank You” from someone whom I just saved from a life of error?

Access Denied.

What? Certainly this is a glitch. I tried logging in again…Access Denied. Possibly this must be a Demonic Attack spawned of the Evil One. Access Denied. Fowl Spawn from Earth’s Bowels, I will not be defeated! You will not deny me access!

I logged in again. Again the screen taunted me: Access Denied. Demon of Anti-Access I rebuke you in the Name of Jesus!

Still the 17” Diagonal Imp taunted me: Access Denied!

Wait! How silly of me. Certainly in my euphoric fatigue I had forgotten the password. This was no demon, it was simply my humanity.

I clicked over to email—and that’s when it happened. No, it cannot be. But yes, it had.

Ben, Moderator of the Cross-Walk, notified me. I had violated rule 20 and been banned from the forum.

Rule 20? Had I in my human weakness progressed far beyond the 10 Commandments and transgressed not rule 11 or even rule 18, but that hallowed “Rule 20”.

Crushed I wandered into bed. “Been having fun on the computer, honey?” my wife inquired. Without reply I rolled over and sobbed myself to sleep.

Kevin Scott is the owner of http://www.WhoreChurch.com exposing the luncacy going on in the name of Christ. Visit now for a whole new perspective on your faith. You might get mad, but it will surely make you think.

All most everybody worries about what will happen if they are in
a stressful and scary situation. The prospect of not knowing
what to do can be frightening. As a result, here is a list of
techniques and suggestions on how to manage the fear of an
upcoming situation

The first thing a person can do is to visualize yourself doing
the scary task in your mind. For instance, you and your team
have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a
large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day
comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine
that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the
game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for
real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to
reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation.

Try to find the motivation from within before performing the
task. You will be more successful if you have a solid reason for
doing the task. If you are not sure why you are doing a certain
task, then the fear will get the best of you. Having the
motivation and enthusiasm will help you to manage the fear and
increase your chances of success.

When encountering a scary situation that gets us all upset,
always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation.
Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated
and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can
rely on what is reality and what is not.

Take it one step at a time. Don’t try to do too much at the same
time because you will be easily overwhelmed. Take it slow and go
at your own pace if you are able.

Don’t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do
so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to
help manage our fears and anxieties. It is not always easy,
however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

As a Layman and author of an anxiety book, I have faced many
situations that made me anxious and fearful. I realize it is not
easy to deal with the fear of the unknown, however sometimes the
fear can be worse than the situation. If you have trouble
managing your anxiety, then talking to someone who can make you
feel better.

I can’t or is it I won’t?

What do you really mean when you say I can’t? I mean really,
truly honestly?

Is it really that you can’t do something or is it mostly because
you won’t do it?

These are questions you need to ask yourself everytime you say I
can’t, every time a task you know you need to do is put to one
side because your excuse is I can’t.

That’s right I said excuse.

I found most of the time I can’t means I won’t, or I don’t feel
like doing it, in fact whenever you say I can’t, you really are
saying I won’t. It is just an excuse to not do something.

If you look at all the things you have done in your life, how
many started with a “I can’t”? I know most of the things you can
do now you couldn’t do at some time, and you probably said “I
can’t”. I know, I still do it, I see people around me doing it.
I have taken the time to notice when I do it so that my business
and marketing efforts don’t suffer.

Every time I think or say those two little words, my business
takes a dive. So I look at it again and see what “I can’t
actually means for me that time. See if these examples are the
same for you… “I can’t sell it for that much” is an excuse for
“I don’t value myself enough” “I can’t do that” usually means
“I’m too lazy to try” or “It looks difficult” sometimes it just
means “I’m afraid how I’ll look if I failed”

Watch out for “I can’t” and take the time to realise what you
really meant. By noticing when you use I can’t, and analysing
what you really mean at the time you say it, can make a huge
difference to all areas of your life. Your personal life will be
better if you can. Your business will grow faster if you can.
Your whole life will improve if you can.