The Jeffrey And Tracey Info Emporium

“When I was growing up,” Annette tells me, “girls weren’t
supposed to get mad. Just as we were supposed to sit still, and
not speak unless spoken to, we were supposed to look pretty and
keep a smile on our face. It’s no wonder I had migraines for so
many years. And when I did start dealing with it, I had no idea
what to do about it.”

“There was something wrong with her, I think,” Anthony told me.
“My ex-wife … she never got angry, all the time we were married.
Not once.” He paused and looked away. Then he added, “She just
threw the keys on the table one day and walked out. I had no
idea there was anything wrong.”

“‘Let it all hang out’ was the catchword sometime around the
late 70’s,” says Martha. “After years of being told NOT to
express our anger, we were supposed to do so all the time. I
remember this period of time as very unpleasant. We got it from
all sides. It was very, um, noisy.”

“In the 80s, they were telling women to stomp around, talk
loudly, and assert themselves. We were supposed to ‘get angry’
in order to compete with men in the work world,” says Paula.

Anger … how we struggle with this primitive, upsetting emotion.
Denied to women, it was at the same time the “all purpose”
emotion for a generation of men – the only legitimate way they
could express any emotion, since tenderness, grief, shame and
sympathy were women’s territory.

We are more accepting now for both genders to have all feelings
(like we had a choice), and yet we still don’t know what to do
about anger. “Anger kills” and the evidence mounts daily how
detrimental this emotion, unmanaged, can be to our health –
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Can’t we just do away with this emotion we dislike so much?
Reach some state of nirvana where we’re always “happy” and
nothing bothers us? Not likely, and if we could, we’d be missing
a great source of information.

The key is not to get rid of anger – or any other emotion – but
to learn how to deal with it in a manner that’s not harmful to
ourselves or to others, and to heed its message.

There have been more “fads” about anger, than fingers on my
hands, and I’ve lived through many of them. So how are we
dealing with it now? What’s the latest?

Let’s get away from “fads” and get to the nitty-gritty about
this potentially destructive, yet vital, emotion.

WHERE IT COMES FROM

Anger, in its rawest form, comes from the primitive, or
reptilian brain. While “anger” encompasses many things when we
experience it, comes from many causes, and contains many
puzzling layers, at the bottom it’s aggression.

Emotions from the reptilian brain are designed for survival, and
are stronger than our thoughts will ever be. If we didn’t pay
attention to them, we might come into harm’s way. They’re
designed to preclude thinking. When the insult comes, or the
push, or the threat, we react … just as if there were a beast in
front of us, threatening our life.

Adrenalin starts pumping and we move into fight-or-flight.
There’s no time to think, or we’d be dead … at least the way the
emotion was originally designed to operate. The trouble is,
today there are few real threats to our existence, but our
bodies don’t know the difference, and so we react.

CAN WE IGNORE IT?

We ignore it to our peril. We are our emotions, and if we shut
down one, we shut them all down. If you aren’t willing to
experience the “bad” ones, you can’t experience the “good” ones,
to about the same degree.

I’m reminded of a friend who told me in one breath about the
death of his mother, and the birth of his first child, as if he
were reporting the Dow Jones for the day.

His inability to deal with his grief and anger at his mother,
rendered him unable to rejoice at the birth of his daughter.
Foregoing pleasure was the price he paid for being numb.

Our emotions are our guides. Anger tells us something is wrong
we need to deal with. And even if “you” choose to ignore it,
your body isn’t. It will talk to you in migraines, back pain,
ulcers, depression, and fibromyalgia.

Anger compromises the immune system. Illness ensues. It isn’t a
question of whether or not you can ignore it; you can’t. It’s
whether you’re mindful of it or not.

It will also talk to you in aborted careers, shattered
relationships, and damaged children. “The sins of the fathers
are visited upon the sons,” refers to legacies of dysfunction.

CAN WE ACCEPT IT?

We have a long communal history of judging our anger and finding
it “bad”. It’s hard to accept. It makes us somehow “not nice.”
The physiological response to it doesn’t feel good, and we wish
it would go away. We want to be “calmed down; at least those of
us who aren’t so addicted to it we’re living in a state of
hostility, on the verge of going postal, walking time bombs,
coronaries waiting to happen.

However, the more we fight it, the greater the hold it will have
on us, and we compound the stress. It takes energy to stuff it
down and that takes its toll. Besides it doesn’t work.

The first step is to recognize and accept it. “Nothing’s either
good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” said the poet, and this
applies to all our feelings, including anger. They are. They
happen. They’re there for a reason, which should be noted.

Judging our emotions only compounds the stress. Even in the
Bible it says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun
go down on your anger.” [Ephesians 4:26] The New Living
Translation phrases it, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control
over you.”

It gains control over us when we do one of two things – either
ignoring it, or reacting to it in knee-jerk fashion, and doing
something harmful.

What’s the alternative? Sit with the anger. Experience it.
Acknowledge it. Then move yourself to the higher center of the
brain, the neocortex, and figure out what to do about it, if
anything. Respond, don’t react. Put a pause in between feeling
and action. Be willing to do nothing, while feeling it at the
same time. But don’t ignore it.

Better Anthony’s wife had told him each time she was angry and
asked for changes rather than just throwing the keys on the
table one day and walking out. Then it was too late. There was
too much water under the bridge, too much resentment, too much
to deal with.

When we stuff it down, it’s likely to come out in the “kick the
dog syndrome” as well. Some unsuspecting person will be the
brunt of our resentment toward someone else, or we’ll get drunk,
or crash the car, or trash our life in some way. Anger is energy.

LET IT PASS

One way to deal with anger is to learn to forgive. This is a
long learning process for most of us, but, of course, we have
plenty of opportunity to practice it. Unjustices occur all the
time, and we have all been wronged. Learning to let go of this
anger is part of Emotional Intelligence.

One reason this is a good policy is because many of the most
grievous injustices can’t be undone. An apology wouldn’t be
enough.

Therefore, we forgive, and we do so for our own benefit, not the
benefit of the perpetrator. The anger will eat us up, while
having little effect on the object of our anger, which means we
are twice victims, and more the fool.

USE IT (POSITIVELY)

Channel the energy. When your boss makes you angry, go chop wood
when you get home. Use the anger over your divorce to flame
through graduate school. Get angry at the opposing team and win
the football game. Write poetry when your mother dies. Master
Rachmaninoff’s 3rd Concerto when your wife runs off with another
man.

NAME IT, CLAIM IT, AIM IT, TAME IT

This is another method for dealing with anger. Name the feeling
and claim it. It’s your anger.

Intellectually speaking, someone could have said the same thing
to someone else, and it would’ve had little or no effect. YOU
are in the equation! “Aim it” means know where it’s coming from.
Don’t slap your child because your partner infuriated you. “Tame
it” means learning to self-soothe.

Developing your emotional intelligence can help eventually to
modulate your feelings. (So can therapy.) You experience them
less strongly after time, if you work at dealing with them as
they come up.

DON’T REPRESS IT, DON’T EXPRESS IT, CONFESS IT

This is Paul Pearsall’s formula. He has a Ph.D. in
psychoneuroimmunology and is the author of “The Pleasure
Principle.” His work on anger is compelling, as he has studied
the effect it has on our immunology system, which is our health.

Repressing anger makes us sick, and so does expressing it.
There’s a plethora of research showing that just recalling an
angering event causes the same reaction as if it were happening
again in real time. Why do this to yourself over and over again?
Wasn’t once enough? Skip the war stories, and skip the bypass,
yes?

“Confess it,” says Pearsall, meaning roughly that you
acknowledge you have it, and that maybe you aren’t “yourself,”
or thinking straight. You take a break. Breathe deeply. Count to
ten. Think it over. Move on.

YOU MANAGE IT, OR IT MANAGES YOU

Learning to manage anger is part of emotional intelligence. We
are never far from the two-year-old throwing a tantrum. “We
never grow up,” someone said, “We just learn how to behave in
public.” The difference is self-awareness and tools –
understanding the emotion, being able to stop, self-soothe and
think it through, and not letting it get the better of us.

Choosing a therapist is a rite of passage for many. It’s a
declaration of needing the support of a professional for a
problem one cannot resolve through resources at hand. In simpler
terms, it means paying someone for their expertise to solve a
problem you have. And therapists are available to meet their
client’s needs in many areas of life. The most common type of
therapist is a psychotherapist, some with an advanced degree and
licensed in their state to assist individuals in improving their
mental and emotional health. These therapists may have
specialties in grief therapy, family therapy, group therapy, or
couples therapy - but the principles and training are the same,
and the end result is to give people more control through having
a better understanding of their life and circumstances. These
type of therapists help with acute problems such as marriage
issue or the death of a loved one, but also meet with people
over a longer term period to assist with issues like anxiety,
depression, self-esteem, or difficult relationship
circumstances. A profession that has become popular over the
last decade is that of the massage therapist. As people have
become more attuned to self-care and taking care of their body,
massage therapists have grown in demand. This is a demanding job
physically but one that nurtures many massage therapists
spiritually and relationally. And as long as the societal demand
for an improved quality of life continues, massage therapists
will play a part in this. As will physical and occupational
therapists. Also known as PTs and OTs, these professionals have
an interest in restoring physical health to individuals who have
undergone surgery or suffered an accident. All of these
therapists play a significant role in improving the quality of
life of others and derive great value from helping, whether this
is through mental, emotional, or physical means.

THE TRUTH ABOUT TROUBLED YOUTH

How accurate are your assumptions about troubled youth and
children? In our recent on-site workshop for the Black Clergy
Alliance in Daytona Beach, Florida, the issue of stereotyping
came up a lot, and inspired this topic.Here is a quick quiz to
test how much you really know about youngsters who struggle.
You may be surprised or even shocked to discover how much
of what you thought you knew is actually myth, not reality. If
your skills are at least somewhat based on myth instead of fact,
you may be quite limited in what you achieve with troubled students.

THE TRUTH ABOUT TROUBLED YOUTH

QUESTIONS

(Answers follow the list of questions.)

1. Are inner-city or suburban kids more likely to use alcohol?

2. Who is the most likely to be involved in a school shooting?

3. What are the top two most serious family problems?

4. Who has the highest rates of anxiety and depression?

5. Who is most likely to use tobacco?

THE TRUTH ABOUT TROUBLED YOUTH

ANSWERS

1. Are inner-city or suburban kids more likely to use alcohol?

Suburban youngsters are more likely to drink than their
urban counterparts, according to a recent Psychology
Today article. The article cites a Columbia University
study that challenges our “cultural assumption that parents
who make more money are more affable, more available to
their children than parents in dire poverty.”

2. Who is the most likely to be involved in a school shooting?

If you listen to the mainstream media, you answered that
bullied children are the most likely to become school
shooters. The truth is more complicated than this simple
sound bite would indicate. The truth is that while bullied
children can blow up and become shooters, a more accurate
answer would note that conduct disorders, thought
disorders and extreme agitated depressed youth can
be shooters. Bullied youth are severely depressed kids
who explode, but not all severely depressed kids have
been bullied. While bullying may or may not have occurred,
the depression will be present. If you just watch for
bullying, you will miss identifying some non-bullied,
depressed students who are at risk of extreme violence.
If you watch instead for depression– that may or may not
include bullying– you won’t miss anyone. Of course, you
must be sure to also remember the two other types of
students who can be of concern: the conduct disorder and
thought disorder, who were covered in the second and
third issues of this magazine, and on our web site.

3. What are the top two most serious family problems?

We ask this question in each of our workshops. Most
youth professionals say “poverty” and “divorce.” But
the real answer may involve problems that are often
considerably more devastating to children. The top
two most serious problems may be sexual abuse, and
physical/verbal abuse. Most mental health professionals
would evaluate childhood sexual and physical/verbal
abuse to usually be far more destructive than poverty
or divorce. In our culture, we don’t like to think about
abuse– especially sexual abuse– so your training may not
include much preparation to help children with the
two biggest problems they are actually encountering.

4. Who has the highest rates of anxiety and depression?

In general, suburban teens have the highest rates of
anxiety and depression, but upper-class suburban girls
are three times more likely to suffer depression than
other teen females. (This data was included in the
recent Columbia University study, as detailed in
Psychology Today magazine.) As our workshop has
traveled around North America, we often hear from
staff who work in affluent areas that “Our students
don’t have those types of problems here.” Staff
with upper-class students are often particularly
vehement that sexual abuse doesn’t happen in their
region, however there is no data to support that
contention. In fact, there is every indication that youth
from wealthier homes endure the same amount of sexual
abuse as other children.

5. Who is most likely to use tobacco?

You may be pretty confident that inner city youth are
the ones who are most likely to be smokers. That is the
dominant stereotype, but it is an incorrect assumption.
Surprisingly, suburban youth are more likely to smoke.
If you now imagine that this discrepancy is due to
suburban youth having more money, guess again. The
Columbia University study attributed this occurrence
not to relative affluence, but to inadequate parental
involvement– a factor that is completely unrelated
to income.

WANT MORE ANSWERS TO YOUR WORST “KID PROBLEMS?”

Click our link below to go to our free Solution Center that
is packed with hundreds of additional solutions you can use
right away.

Fear weakens us. It invites stress and illness into our lives. It silently affects every aspect of our lives – our health, relationships, even our finances. So how do we overcome this fear? How do we attract health, happiness, and peace of mind? There are a number of ways.

First, you can simply observe the sensations in your body when fear arises. When your heart races, your chest tightens, the adrenaline pumps, and the butterflies flutter in your stomach, be with all of these sensations. Observe the unpleasant sensations caused by fear, go deeply to them, and they will dissolve. Every emotion in the mind has a corresponding sensation in the body. So when we observe sensations in the body, we released them, and our mind becomes clear.

Another powerful weapon against fear is to realize that you belong. You belong to God, to the universe or some power. Find comfort in the fact that God is taking care of you. He is taking care of all your concerns and worries. God is right there behind you one hundred percent. You are not separate from God. You are part of God. He is looking after you in the same way that a mother looks after her child – with total love.

See the impermanence in everything. Everything is changing within you and around you. The world is constantly changing. You are not the same person you were last year. Emotions come and emotions go. When fear arises, know that the intensity of the fear is always changing and that it will soon subside and disappear. It is not possible for the dark cloud of fear to permanently obscure the sun, which is the joy and love within you. All clouds move on. A great strength comes to us when we see everything as impermanent.

We can empower ourselves even more by simply letting go. Fear is clinging onto something, holding on, and not letting go. But what can you hold onto in this life? Nothing. It’s all flowing, dissolving, and growing. Life moves like a movie. You cannot stop the movie and hold onto any one frame. Let go and let God. Let go and the shackles off fear and worry will fall from you.

Yet another trick to overcome fear is to realize that you only have the present moment. Right now is all that exists! We are anxious about the future. We torture ourselves with disturbing thoughts of what will happen tomorrow, next week, or next year. But these are only imaginings, nasty tricks played by our minds. Live in the present moment. Meditate, and dive into the profound, healing present moment.

Fear creates a physiological imbalance in our bodies and we feel stressed. If we are stressed over a long period, we soon begin to suffer from a certain type of disease. And the fear of having a serious illness makes us feel even more anxious, which exacerbates our health. A downward spiral of fear soon brings us despair and misery. But, with a little courage, we can spiral back up to good health. Above are a few powerful ways of achieving this and I encourage you to try them in your daily life. You will feel lighter, have more energy, and be happier!

So, why do we suddenly feel so much better after applying the principles above? The reason is that we are attending to the very source of the mind, which is pure consciousness, pure love, and love is the highest healer on the planet. Love is not an emotion – it is your very existence. An infinite ocean of love exists within you. By applying the ancient wisdom above in your life, you bathe your mind and body in this vast healing ocean within, cleansing yourself of fear, stress, and illness. You quickly find relief, feeling calm and refreshed.

We need to take a closer look at our own life. Stress and health problems can be overcome. Greater happiness, enthusiasm for life, and peace of mind can be experienced. With an understanding of ancient, spirital wisdom from the enlightened masters, life loses its seriousness and becomes a fun game to play.

Wishing you health and joy,

Ian Cameron,
Author of Heal Thyself,
www.healthyself.com.au

When Ian Cameron fell seriously ill at the age of 21, he embarked on a search for truth, and how to attain health and happiness. He studied the wisdom of enlightened masters and applied it in his life. In 1997, he traveled to India and learnt personally from a spiritual master. After more than thirteen years of suffering anxiety, depression, and arthritic pain, he found peace of mind and wrote “Heal Thyself”. Visit: http://www.healthyself.com.au

Intentionality is defined as a relationship between mental states of a human being and the external environment. This phenomenon determines and directs these mental states at certain objects, events, etc. It is an important element of mental experience, because intentionality directed it towards external world and gives our desires, sensations, feelings, believes certain content, certain orientation. This happens very often, because as a rule our perception, our thinking and experiencing are intentional, as we always perceive, experience something as something existed in the external world or given to us.

The notion of “intentionality” has Scholastic origin, but nowadays it was reintroduced by Franz Bernando. The philosopher determined the notion as an important feature of “physical phenomena” and pointed out that the core of it was “intentional inexistence of an object” (Chisholm, 1967).

Bernando states that almost every mental state or action has certain content, certain direction. He says that person’s desires, thoughts, feelings, sensations are directed at certain objects, events of the environment. He also declares that all these external objects and events at which the mind is directed have one common characteristic called “intentional inexistence”. Bernando means that there is no mental state that could experience intentionality without having some intentional objects.

In a word, a person could not love, hate, believe, perceive, etc without having an object to be loved, hated, believed or perceived. This is an essence of Bernando’s notion “intentional inexistence”. Brentano claims that not every “physical phenomena” has its intentionality. Because he is sure that only mental states or acts can have it.

Chisholm in his book “Brentano on Descriptive Psychology and the Intentional” (1967) agrees with these arguments of Brentano, explaining them in the terms of psychology. He says that when a person is eager to describe non-psychological phenomena, he does not need to use intentional words. But when a person wants to describe his emotions, feelings, desires, experience, etc, he has to include in this description intentional objects, to use intentional language.

In the present work there were covered different points of view on the issue of intentionality - Brentano’s, Dennett’s and Dretske’s. But they all agree that intentionality as a relationship between mental states and the external environment is an essential and important feature of consciousness.

Aaron Schwartz is a writer at Custom Essays Writing Network. He is an experienced writer of custom essays and will be glad to share his experience with you.

Learn the same tactics of “Street Hypnosis” used by the infamous
secret society, the Illuminati.

A former hypnotist member reveals the exact same tactics used by
this society to gain financial and political power.

These are “Street Hypnosis” techniques you can learn and use the
same day.

This is a straight to the point, gritty, manual written on a 15
hour plan flight from America to Japan by a former member of the
Illuminati.

The Illuminati is trying to do everything in its power to stop
this information from reaching the world.

To learn more about this controversial manual on “Street
Hypnosis” visit www.RealStreetHypnosis.com

There are seven critical features necessary for even moderate
success. Should any of these features be at a low ebb, then you
will find yourself living a life of quiet desperation and bitter
failure. Ironically, these key elements can be healed with some
sustained effort. Alternatively, should you be able to raise all
seven levels of personal power, you will find yourself living in
a whole new world, where success becomes the norm rather than
the exception.

In your efforts to improve your life by healing these symptoms
of failure, do not look around you for much reinforcement,
because most people are in deep denial of their own
inadequacies. In fact, you will find yourself a pioneer.
However, if you do not heal the conditions of failure, you will
eventually have to pay a high price for such negligence.

One: Low physical energy. In our modern day world of constant
struggle to sustain ourselves economically, it is easy to let
stress become predominant, and this in turn, will lead to
compromising the immune system and creating illness, sometimes a
fatal illness. Low physical energy comes from insufficient
sleep, little or no quiet time of restfulness when awake, little
or no physical exercise, and poor eating and digestion. When
physical energy is low, sluggishness is prevalent and little is
achieved. Unless this is healed, a person is heading toward ill
health and low moods. Dysfunctional and addictive behavior,
bitter losses, and personal crises arise from not having enough
physical energy to fix things in our lives when they break down.
We succumb before the smallest of obstacles.

Two: Mental sluggishness. The world is fast moving towards
becoming entirely based on knowledge as a key economic skill.
The industrial revolution, where strenuous labor was sufficient
to pay the bills, is being replaced by knowledge workers.
Machines and sophisticated technology are quickly replacing
manual labor. In a decade or two, robotic intelligence will far
outstrip the most competent human technician. Yet, all
educational systems are still using the archaic factory methods
of mass production and if you wish to have an intelligent mind,
you will have to develop self-reliance. Ignorance, stupidity,
and emotional jingoism and dogmatism have wrecked havoc on human
life…and unless our species learns to value artistic and
intellectual achievement, we will self-exterminate through
overpopulation, pollution, epidemics, the collapse of nations,
or a final war.

Three: Low ideals. All greatness and all examples of cultural
heroes arise from those who have held themselves up to a higher
ideal then what the consensus reality deemed necessary. I am not
talking here about morals, whose values arise from dogmatic
creeds, but about an individual’s desire to better themselves
and the world around them. Egoic desires for wealth, popularity,
and total domination are not high ideals. Many world dictators
have held all three, and they have brought nothing but misery to
their countries and the world at large. Champions of worthy
ideals have been people like Joseph Campbell, Mother Teresa,
Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and others. Dipping into the
biographies of great souls is the beginning of your own
greatness. When Buckminster Fuller decided to made the decision
to make his life an example of what one man can do to improve
the world, he created a precedent whose magnitude if replicated
will have a far-reaching effect. A high ideal is one that is
good for you, that is good for others, and that is good for all
mankind.

Four: Dogmatic religiosity. Fanaticism is not spiritual.
Understanding the great invisible forces of life can only come
from original experience. Books and teachers may point the way,
but ultimately, they do not light the path to deep
understanding, and only make a false impression of learning.
True spirituality consists of acts of kindness, moments of
wisdom, and feelings of high inspiration. When we learn and
absorb the lessons of our own life, enjoy genuine warmth in
relationship to other people and experience wonder when
contemplating the great scheme of all life, then we may awaken
to spiritual understanding. Institutions, no matter how
venerable, cannot make you spiritual. Gurus, no matter how
advance, cannot make you spiritual. Only your own unrelenting
efforts at seeking the origins and meaning of the good, the
true, and the beautiful will put your feet on the path to
spiritual understanding. Spirituality, ultimately, cannot be
taught; it can only be learned.

Five: Superficial relationships. The entire fabric of life is
based on relationships between various forms of life. The more
superficial your relationship with other people, the more
manipulative your interactions, and the more self-seeking your
motivations, the more you hurt yourself. We know neither
ourselves nor each other, and the results of this neglect of
interest and affection is that we live lonely lives in a world
where chaotic human behavior appears to be slowly but inevitably
eroding the quality of all human experience.

Six: The unhealed past. All of us have been wounded by our
interactions with the world, and as these psychic scars
accumulate inside our emotional bodies, the more disturbed we
become. Neurotic tendencies originate from psychic wounds. Over
time, they only get worse. Unless effort is made to heal the
experiences of hurt, disappointment, rejection, and humiliation
from the past, then their psychic force will continue to have a
debilitating effect in our lives. So numbed out are we to our
own pain that often it takes skilled professional intervention
to uncover it. All examples of dysfunctional behavior and poor
life conditions arise from some psychic wound making its silent
impression. All acts of rampant evil arise from a psyche that
has completely deteriorated into psychosis.

Seven: No self-inquiry. Life is complex. Yet we respond with
simple reflexes to what ails us. Rare is the person who takes
time to journal, to walk in nature, or to discuss with others at
a deep level what can be done to improve the quality of life.
When we don’t contemplate the conundrums that face us, we
continue to tread ruts of self-defeat. Reflexive living means a
dearth of proactive solutions, and the more wrong answers we
accumulate on what to do about things, the worse they get.
Quickly enough a lifetime will pass and regret will be the last
emotion experienced. The unlived life arises from the
non-reflected life. It is better to reflect on what is happening
in our lives when we have a chance to correct our course than to
do so when it is too late. Perhaps there is no greater
philosophical statement than that made by Socrates when he said:
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

It is a rare and wonderful thing to be born a human being. It is
also the most difficult of undertakings. Unless we choose to
heal these seven levels of failure in a consistently committed
way, we will find ourselves impoverished by our own
unwillingness to seek significance. Behind pain is pleasure,
behind sorrow joy, and behind failure success…we have only to
effort to turn things around for ourselves, and in the nobility
of saving ourselves, we will look around and find that where we
thought to find an abomination, we have discovered a god, and
where we thought to have been cast alone, we have found
ourselves one with all the world. All of us have a greatness and
splendor that yearns with desperation to be liberated into the
light of experience.

Looking for a way to reduce the amount of worrying you do?

Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice.

First most worries don’t stand up to close scrutiny, so write down clearly, each of the things you are worried about. Your first reaction will probably be one of amusement at yourself, as some of the things that haunted you prior to writing them down, look silly when written out. Next, take each item and make a list of all the things you can do about it. This shows you that in most cases you will be worried about something that you can’t control at all and that your worry serves no purpose. In the case where you can do something to reduce the worry, your sense of control is enhanced, making you feel better. Finally ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen with each worry. In most cases you will find you can live with even the worst outcome and this will also make you feel better. Now don’t you feel better already?

Contact Information
Edward W. Smith, 201-568-0019, edsmith@brightmoment.com, www.brightmoment.com, PO box 8106, Englewood NJ 07631-8106

Copyright Edward W. Smith 2005

Edward W. Smith is the author of Sixty Seconds To Success, hosts and produces the Bright Moment TV show, is a motivational speaker, is president of the Bright Moment Seminars, and publishes a free, daily, email of the One Minute Motivator

What do you do when you someone you know has to deal with persistent fears and anxieties or even depression? Well the first thing you need to do is to get the person to seek the services of a professional and/or counselor who can lead them in the right direction and give them the help they need. In the meantime, here are some other things you can do to help the person cope.

Learn as much as you can in managing fears, anxieties and depression. There are many books and information that will educate on how to deal with fear and anxiety. Share this information with the person who is struggling. Education is the key in finding the answers your looking for in managing your fears.

Be understanding and patient with the person struggling with their fears. Dealing with depression and anxiety can be difficult for the person so don’t add more problems than what is already there.

As for the person dealing with the anxiety, he or she must realize that managing anxiety and fear takes practice. So when experiencing an anxiety related situation, begin to learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. As you do this, you will become better in dealing with your anxieties.

Don’t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and anxieties. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

Another thing to remember is that things change and events do not stay the same. For instance, you may feel overwhelmed in the mornings with your anxiety and feel that this is how you will feel the rest of the day. This isn’t correct. No one can predict the future with 100 Percent accuracy. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. You never know when the help and answers you are looking for will come to you.

As a Layman, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears. When your fears and anxieties have the best of you, seek help from a professional. The key is to be patient, take it slow, and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods”-a book that presents a overview of techniques in managing Fear. For more info go to: www.managingfear.com
For free articles on managing fear please go to: www.managingfear.com

With all these rhymes I was tempted to write a poem (and I may still…stay tuned for the sequel!!) about this topic. However, I decided I would just be straight-forward with these dynamics, seeing how critically valuable they are in our day-to-day lives.

We have a choice we make many times during the course of a day: Express it or repress it.

In other words, we either find a way to release our expression, which may be referred to as “emotional discharge”, or we “stuff it”, which is synonymous with repression. It is quite normal to have to do some “stuffing” during the course of a day, but what is important is that you have an awareness of that and find an appropriate time and place to release it.

Think of these emotions as being weights, and everytime you stuff one you put some additional weight on your back. It can be very subtle; after all, a pound here and there doesn’t amount to much. However, if you begin to accumulate an excessive amount, the load can very easily begin to have some profound effects on your energy.

That is where the “depression” component comes in. I have never met a person who was struggling with this depressed energy that didn’t have a significant amount of unexpressed emotion. So rather than risk getting into any depressive energy, let’s look at some healthy methods of expressing your emotions.

1. First, realize your personal indicators of stuffed emotions. Some of the common examples would include fatigue, irritation, isolation, rage, decreased concentration, obsessing/ruminating, anxiety, and sleep/appetite disturbance. Identify for yourself what your indicators are.
2. I would recommend doing a daily inventory (call it “mental flossing”) to identify what, if any, feelings need to be released.
3. Create a number of outlets to release your emotions. Some examples would include talking to your friends/your spouse/your support group, writing/journaling, singing, dancing, drumming, running, biking, weight-lifting, kick-boxing, mediation, prayer, and creative visualization. Use all the interventions that you can, and repeat as often as you need to.
4. If any of the above emotional releasing exercises feel “weird”, or if you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable in doing them, then I would say “Congratulations!!” to you. Whenever you step out of on old pattern and into a new, it is very normal for it feel weird, vulnerable, and uncomfortable. Those feelings, in fact, are validation that you are creating some new skills to deal with these emotional dynamics. And just like everything else in life, when you repeat something over and over that is new and uncomfortable or awkward, it soon becomes comfortable and normalized in your day-to-day life.

I hope you stay on the path of the “expression-connection” to avoid the repression-depression of non-expression.

Now I think I’ll go work on that poem…or maybe I’ll even turn into it a rap and really get self-expressed…

(Just a quick disclaimer: Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance that usually needs to be treated by medication, and although the contents of this article can be very helpful in the recovery of such a depressive state, this by no means is meant to be a substitute for medical intervention. If you think you are suffering from clinical depression, I recommend that you see your doctor or a mental health professional.)

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!