The Jeffrey And Tracey Info Emporium

The end of Daylight Savings Time marks the time when we “fall back” or set our clocks back one hour. Those who aren’t parents delight in the gift of an extra hour of sleep. Those of us who have children fear waking at 5 am instead of 6 am! However, there are some basic techniques you can employ that will help this transition go smoother.

If your child’s bedtime is 7pm or later:

On Saturday, October 29th, try to push your child’s bedtime forward at least fifteen minutes to a half hour if possible. The key is not to force your child to stay up too much past his/her normal bedtime because this could be counter productive. If a child’s bedtime is pushed too far the night sleep may become disrupted and the child may also wake too soon. Continue this gradual change in time for the next night or two until your child’s bedtime has been adjusted by forty five to sixty minutes. Be sure to keep a morning wake up time no earlier than 6 am.

If your child’s bedtime is before 7pm:

If you have an infant who goes to bed between 6 pm and 7 pm then you can use this earlier bedtime to your advantage! On Saturday, October 29th put your baby down to sleep at his/her adjusted normal bedtime, i.e., between 5pm and 6pm. Treat this as a short nap and wake your baby after twenty to forty minutes. This will set your baby up for a later bedtime. Your baby will most likely adjust to the new schedule very quickly.

By implementing these easy techniques your family will be back on schedule shortly. If you are one of the lucky ones, it may only take a night or two to achieve this new schedule. If this is not the case, do not worry; children should take no more than a week to adjust to their new bedtime.

Copywrite 2005 Child-Works, LLC

Rachel Steinberg is a sleep consultant at Child-Works.

http://www.child-works.com is the ultimate parent toolbox providing parents consultation services, information, and resources in the areas of sleep, behavior, and education.

Baby shower invitations set the tone for the big day

Baby shower invitations reflect the joy you feel at this special time in your life. Pregnancy is often a time for people to reflect on the meaning of family. A baby shower is an opportunity to gather family for laughter, stories, celebration and advice.

Shower invitations share the joy

Shower invitations and especially printable baby shower invitations should be of the finest quality. Shower invitations are not simply devices of practicality. If they were, you would just make the announcements to everyone via e mail. People send printed shower invitations in order to commemorate the importance of the event and make baby announcements in style.

For style, for beauty, and for durability, handmade shower invitations are the best. Acid free paper ensures the shower invitations will last a lifetime. Mass-produced shower invitations can show age within decades and by the time your child is grown, the shower invitations may have yellowed or faded. With acid free shower invitations, you know that your children may see these shower invitations and announcements in the future.

If you save one of these shower invitations to place in your child’s baby book where you keep the birth announcements notices, he or she will undoubtedly spend time marveling at it. The beauty of the shower invitations will let him or her know just how anticipated they were, and how much you thought of them, even before they were born. Beautiful, handmade shower invitations will help your son or daughter reflect on their entrance into this world.

Looking for baby bedding, baby gift baskets, baby furniture, baby shower invitations, baby strollers, Robeez shoes, baby shower games or themes, please visit http://www.baby-shower-4u.com



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Whining. They all do it. It’s not so much what they’re saying as the creepy little tone of voice that gets under your skin and makes you want to stab yourself in the neck with a pencil. Or maybe that’s just me.
It’s a horrible habit to get into and it can seem like an impossible habit to break your child of, but let me tell you the really scary thing: You, yes you, are actually the person who taught your child to whine - and you are the one who will be able to make it stop.
Whining is one of the ways that our children use to manipulate us into getting their own way. Yes, I said “manipulate.” A lot of people don’t like it when I say that, but our little buggers are brilliant manipulators - and it’s okay. Every person has to learn how to be happy in the world and for a certain span of time - say from the age of 1 until 30 - we think that getting things will make us happy. So, it logically follows that we learn how to manipulate our environment to learn how to get stuff.
As the major vehicle in your child’s life, they learn how to drive you like a fine Porsche. If I push this petal, I’ll get this result and if I push this one I’ll get this. Don’t just be a passive petal, sitting there waiting to be pushed around. Take the wheel and teach your children how to negotiate the world in a healthy, respectful way.
Following, you’ll find the keys to breaking the habit of whining and learning how to use Direct Communication. This is one of the most important skills to teach our children - especially our girls.

Keys to Learning Direct Communication

• The first key is to stop rewarding the behavior that you no longer wish to see. This first step is very important. Every single time your child whines, simply say, “I am going to say ‘no’ to that request because you whined instead of asking me. Next time, try saying, ‘Mom, may I please ________.’ instead and give me the choice of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no.’” That’s it. Say it the same way every time and NEVER give in to whining. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your children will learn this new way of getting what they want. Remember: you teach people how to treat you. This is especially true of your children.

• Now that your children are asking direct questions, you have to make sure that you are also practicing direct communication with them - and your spouse. If you are modeling manipulative, indirect ways of managing things, they will continue to try to manipulate you. There are many, many small ways that we manipulate our families and friends and it’s time to STOP! If you use the techniques of half-truths, white lies, going behind someone’s back, talking over each other or simply ignoring one another, passive-aggressive manipulation, assuming authority for everything without including your partner, sacrificing yourself and your needs to make yourself feel superior, or any combination of theses to get what you want from your spouse and others, you are teaching your children to use them as well. It’s time to cut the games, stand in your authentic Self and use direct and clear communication. This opens the door for every person in your home to be themselves, with no apologies, able to negotiate (and re-negotiate) healthy agreements for themselves. Life becomes about happy cooperation, not sneaky manipulation.

• Practice, Practice, Practice. Really work on asking clear, direct questions. Give others the opportunity to say “no” to you and practice saying it to others. The reason people use manipulation to get what they want is because they feel powerless in the face of a situation. You are never powerless. As you learn how to be clear and direct, you access more and more of your own inner power. And, what’s most important, you model for your children how to make healthy requests and to learn to be okay with a yes or a no answer.

Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. For free tips and to find out how to get a free copy of her new book, go to http://www.parentingkeys.com.

For some women, getting pregnant is very easy. They find that it can all happen within 3 months. However, on the other side of the coin, some women find it very difficult to get pregnant. There are many reasons for this, such as; Age, stress, and overall physical condition.

Nowadays there are four fertility tests that you can take in order to find out the reasons as to why you can’t get pregnant. The four fertility tests are; Hormone testing, Ovulation, Chlamydia and gonorrhoea cultures, and Sperm analysis.

Hormone testing consists of a series of blood tests that are taken at different times, which helps to verify the normal hormone production. This blood test measures the amount of progesterone you have, and finds out if you have enough of it to carry on a pregnancy. Another blood test is done to test your prolactin levels. Prolactin is the hormone which is responsible for producing breast milk. Having elevated levels of prolactin can impede with conception. There is also another blood test taken to test your thyroid function. Having an under or over stimulated thyroid can cause problems with getting pregnant.

In the ovulation test, your gynaecologist is looking for regularity in your cycle. A good way to track your cycle length is by using and ovulation predictor kit. This kit is recommended by most gynaecologists.

Chlamydia and gonorrhoea cultures are taken in order to detect these two viruses (Chlamydia and gonorrhoea). These two viruses are preventable but also difficult to detect. Chlamydia and gonorrhoea can cause infertility.

Sperm analysis is done by taking a sample of your partner’s sperm. With this sample, one can easily evaluate sperm count and quality. The quality of the sperm is measured by its shape and movement.

Taking these 4 fertility tests will help your doctor to find out where the problem lies in you not being able to get pregnant. Once your doctor knows this, the next part of the procedure is finding a solution to rectify this problem. Good luck!

By Paul Ghossain
http://www.multitheme.com

There is hardly anything else that can match the excitement of waiting for the arrival of your baby. Ask any parent, especially the mother-to-be, and you will be told that the new baby’s arrival is, by far, the most cherished and much-awaited event. She waits with baited breath for the moment when she will be able to hold her baby in her arms and see this most wonderful and precious gift of nature. She spends each waking hour counting the ticks of the clock for the baby’s arrival.

One way to shorten the period of waiting is to organize a baby shower. It serves many purposes and helps to take the sting out of the anxiety of waiting.

A baby shower is held to formally inform all the near and dear ones about the baby’s arrival. They, in return, bring gifts for the baby and shower their blessings and good wishes on the expectant mother. Generally baby showers are organized by the parents, friends or relatives.

The idea of holding baby showers has no apparent historical background. It is a typical US style custom that is being widely recognized in countries influenced by the American lifestyle.

Basically, a baby shower serves the purpose of making a joint effort to collect all the essentials for the baby. It helps to reduce the financial burden on the parents-to-be, and also gives them many ideas and useful tips to be prepared for the most important event in their lives. Needless to say, it is a beautiful way to welcome the new member in the family.

Whoever organizes the party has to think of unique and original ideas or themes to make the baby shower a memorable event for the expectant mother. They look for ideas that would best suit her personality or the tone of the occasion. Of course, the underlying theme is of celebration, merrymaking and festivity so that all who come enjoy the occasion.

Finding brand new ideas that have not lost their charm due to overuse is not an easy task. You have to think of so many things, the most important being the gender of the baby.

If you know the sex of the baby it becomes a lot easier to plan the baby shower accordingly. It’s the first step towards organizing the baby shower.

It helps you to decide the theme of the party, and you have then no problem in choosing the appropriate colors and organizing the right kind of games to play.

It goes without saying that it becomes difficult for the organizers to come up with brilliant ideas if the sex of the baby is not known. In such cases, they have to rely on the neutral colors and push their creativity a little harder to think of interesting games to play.

You can organize an excellent and fascinating baby shower, whether or not you know the sex of the baby. Of course, you will have to do your homework and search for some generalized and yet amusing baby shower ideas. You will find any number of ideas floating around that can make the party great. Just keep your eyes and ears open to catch them and personalize them with a bit of ingenuity.

Looking for Baby Shower Ideas

If you have a creative mind, you will have no problem coming up with great baby shower ideas. You will easily think of something attractive, appealing and appropriate.

Someone who is not so ingenuous also has nothing to worry about. There are many magazines and brochures that present excellent ideas. Moreover, it’s’sbest to talk to relatives and friends, and if nothing else works, go to the Internet.

Thanks to information technology, it is not difficult to come up with a perfect baby shower idea. You will find tons of web sites that cater to those who are planning to organize a baby shower. You can pick and choose what suits you best.

Essentially, a baby shower must cater to the taste and style of the guests and keep in line with the personality of the parents-to-be. It should be a fun occasion that can express the joy and happiness of everybody for the baby’s arrival.

Kim Anderson is the owner of http://www.quickandeasybabyshower.com and http://www.quickandeasybabyshower.net Sites devoted to helping you make sure your baby shower is great.

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards but of playing a poor hand well.” Robert Louis Stevenson

Resiliency, or the ability to “bounce back” from adversity and challenge, is a trait (or perhaps a skill-set) that I’m sure all of us as counselors, parents, and/or educators, hope to foster in our children, our students, our clients, and even in ourselves. We know that being resilient is necessary in being able to maintain perspective, move forward, and overcome setbacks. Without resiliency, an unfortunate event, accident, or loss can result in giving up, learned helplessness, hopelessness, and a lack of social interest.

Whenever I think of resiliency, I can’t help but think about my experiences as a Probation Officer in the Juvenile Court system and the many children I encountered there who lived in unspeakable conditions and in the most dysfunctional of circumstances. Amid the many terribly troubled kids in the system, there were always a rare few who were amazingly resilient, despite their living conditions and familial dysfunction, making me wonder where they got the strength to cope and exist in a world that, to them, must have seemed terribly unfair and difficult.

Just as there are some children from great families who mess up and have to learn many of life’s lessons the hard way, there are, too, many children who come from dysfunction and despair, who somehow make it, and somehow survive amazingly welldespite poverty, affliction, criminal families, lack of education, and a lack of social or moral values or role models. I would often wonder, in my years of working with some of the most troubled teens in town, what their secret was. What was it that made it possible for one kid to be capable of coping, overcoming problems, turning his life around, and abiding by societal rules, when another from a similar background just couldn’t seem to be able to get it together?

Fortunately, much research has been done on the topic of resiliency, and Tucson is a leader in the Resiliency Movement. The Tucson Resiliency Initiative (TRI) is “a grassroots effort to promote resiliency” (TRI website www.tucsonresiliency.org).

According to “Introduction to Resiliency” by Katie Frey, Ph.D., (www.tucsonresiliency.org), researchers in this field have identified characteristics common to children who have succeeded “against the odds.” These protective factors include many traits that can be developed by using principles that we identify from psychology as being Adlerian in nature, including encouragement, respect, and social interest. In her article, Dr. Frey lists qualities of resilient children as those who are “self-reliant, independent, self-controlled, hopeful, and who have an internal locus of control, and a sense of purpose.”

So what can we do to help foster these qualities and create an environment for our children that is condusive to resiliency?. To learn resiliency, we can help provide access to resources for meeting basic needs, access to leadership positions, opportunities for decision-making, and meaningful participation in the community. Other suggestions by Dr. Frey include creating an environment where there is unconditional acceptance by at least one other person, having clear and enforced boundaries, encouraging pro-social values, appreciating an individual’s unique talents, and creating and maintaining a positive school climate with teachers and positive adults who truly care.

So as the school year begins, and many of us resume (or continue) in our efforts to make the world a more encouraging and resilient place, keep in mind that the single most important thing you can do in the life of a child is to love him or her and present opportunities for growth and reliency.

For more information on the Resiliency Movement, check out these resources:

www.tucsonresiliency.org
www.raisingresilientkids.com
www.resiliency.com

Jana Beutler Holland, M.Ed. is a life coach, therapist, and personal trainer based in Tucson, Arizona. Jana is owner of Life in Motion Coaching, a Life Coaching Company, as well as SWAT Fitness, a personal training company, providing personal fitness training in Tucson and online, as well as offering several other fitness programs to help clients lose weight, improve their health and fitness levels, and live happier, healthier lives.

Baby shower games are a wonderful addition to any baby shower. They can be used as a ice breaker to get things warmed up or they can be used to fill in time between other activities or as an optional activity for those who want to do something fun.

Some things that you want to think about before planning baby shower games are to think of the target audience. What are the ages of people attending the baby shower and what types of games would they like. It is best to plan baby shower games that encourage people to interact. When people talk to each other, work together, and talk they have more fun. It also helps to have some type of small prize. This helps motivated people, instills a little bit of friendly competition and gets people into the game. This does not need to be an expensive party favor or anything just something small and simple. A candy bar, a candle, bar of soap or any other fun trinket will work.

Nursery Rhyme fill In- This is an easy general game that can be played by everyone. Prepare some nursery rhymes before hand by deleting a few random words out of the text. Then read the nursery rhyme aloud and people try to guess the deleted word as your reading.

Baby Memory Game- This is a great memory game for the intellectual types in the crowd. Prepare a large tray with 10 to 15 baby items. Things like bottles, diapers, and so on. Then cover the tray with a blanket and place it in the middle of the room where everyone can easily view it. Take the blanket off for 10 to 15 seconds and then place the blanket back. You can then provide all the guests with a piece of paper and they write down all of the things thy can remember from the tray.

What Is the Mystery Taste? - Prepare this one ahead of time by purchasing a few different jars of baby food. Take the labels off or cover them with some opaque paper. Number the jars so you have a reference for the contents of each jar. Then have people take small bites and try to identify the food.

You Did What? - This can be a fun game for people that know a little bit about each other before coming to the shower. As people come to the shower have them complete a small piece of paper where they list 4 little known things about themselves. They do not need to write their name on the paper and then just collect all of the slips of paper in a bag or box. Then one at a time people pull out a paper, read it and try to guess who it is about.

Three Truths and a Lie- This is similar to the game above but another fun variation. As guests arrive have them write 4 things about themselves. One of the items that they write about themselves is a lie and the other three should be true. They will then read this aloud to the group and everyone will try to guess which one is the lie.

Baby shower games can be free, cheap and easy to put together yet they add a nice touch to the baby shower. People can become more relaxed and feel comfortable by playing baby shower games and it helps the interaction flow a little more smoothly. Often people are stuck talking about he weather, work or other mundane topics. By playing some fun baby shower games you can energize the crowd and create a fun open environment in which people can easily strike up spontaneous deep conversations.

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By the time you find out you’re pregnant (pregnancy test $15) to the time junior blows out the candles on his first birthday cake (cake $20), parents can expect to spend upwards of $18,000. And that’s on baby’s first year alone. By the time junior reaches 18, the average middle-income family will spend $160,140, according to recent government calculations. That doesn’t even touch college tuition. Ouch!

Children are priceless, but raising them is probably the most expensive thing a parent will ever do.

But there’s good news. One of the few times companies are eager to hand out free things is when someone is having a baby!

When author, Sue Hannah found out that she was expecting twins, she couldn’t wait for their arrival. But feeling the financial strain that goes along with being a new parent (times two), she was definitely a little nervous.

Desperate to find extra help for her expanding family, she contacted almost every company that manufactured baby items. She scoured through parenting magazines, searched the Internet and made phone calls until her husband thought she was suffering a pregnancy-induced craze. He claimed she couldn’t get something for nothing. Boy, was he wrong!

She was surprised to find out that many companies offered free stuff to new and expecting parents–and with no obligation to buy anything! She received hundreds of dollars worth of fabulous freebies for herself and her babies, including free diapers, baby wipes, baby food, baby bibs, bottles, free gift packs, parenting starter kits, free parenting videos and software, coupons, parenting books and magazines, and tons of free samples in the mail, all from well-known companies like Huggies, Gerber, Heinz, Nestlé Carnation, Johnson & Johnson, and many more.

“It was really exciting to receive free stuff in the mail”, says Hannah. “These companies were eager to respond to my requests for free samples and promotional items and within a couple of weeks of contacting them, my mailbox was flooded with valuable free stuff–and with no obligation to buy anything! I could hardly wait to see what my mailman brought me in the mail each day! I filled up three large storage bins with free stuff for my twins, and saved a ton of money!”

After receiving a flood of free stuff in the mail, Hannah decided to compile her contacts and listings into an awesome book, Free Stuff For Baby!, consisting of toll-free numbers that parents could call to request free stuff, company addresses where parents could write to request free stuff, as well as Internet websites where parents could register online to request free stuff for themselves and their baby. And what a success that book has been! Hannah has recently appeared on several television programs promoting her new book, including, “Northwest Afternoon” (KomoTV/Seattle), “Your Morning” (Comcast), “Canada AM”, “Breakfast Television”, to name a few. Her articles have appeared in tons of parenting magazines, including “Fit Pregnancy”, “Today’s Parent”, “Work & Family”, and many more!

For those “new or expecting” parents who are reading this article today, Hannah has offered to give you a sneak preview of her new book, “Free Stuff For Baby!”, in the form of an awesome, 101-page e-book called “The Best of Baby Freebies”, that contains hundreds of listings of companies that offer free stuff to new and expecting parents in the U.S. and Canada….FREE!! Details are available at the website. www.Free-Baby-Samples.com

Hannah’s final words of advice: “Join as many mailing lists as you can to take advantage of what these companies have to offer. Enjoy your baby. Cherish every moment!”

Note: When contacting these companies, ask to be put on their mailing list to receive free promotional items for new and expecting parents. If you are expecting multiples, be sure to mention that in your correspondence with them.

Check out Sue Hannah’s website at www.Free-Baby-Samples.com, where you can sign up for these and many other free baby offers online. Simple, Fast….and FREE!!

1. Pampers (Procter & Gamble)
In the United States or Canada, call 800-543-0480, 800-726-7377
U.S. Website: http://www.us.pampers.com/en_US/home.do (click on “JoinPampers.com”)
Canadian Website: www.pampers.ca (click on “coupons and special offers”)
Call the above-listed number to be put on the company mailing list to receive sample products and disposable diaper coupons. Call again after the baby is born to receive further offers. Pampers will also send out occasional mailings and coupons at the different stages of your baby’s development. When you register online at Pampers.com, you will receive a free newsletter, a $10.00 New Registration Coupon Book, private product previews and samples from Pampers, as well as special offers from other Procter & Gamble brands.

2. Huggies (Kimberly-Clark Corporation)
In the United States or Canada, call 800-544-1847
www.Huggies.com
Call, or sign up online to join Huggies’ mailing list for new and expecting parents where you will receive coupons for Huggies diapers, wipes, and other promotional items and free samples that they are offering at the time.

3. Johnson & Johnson
In the United States, call 800-526-3967
In Canada, call 800-361-8068
U.S. Website: www.johnsonsbaby.com
www.babycenter.com
Canadian Website: www.jnjCanada.com
Parents can call the above-listed number to receive a free Baby Care Basics brochure with valuable coupons, as well as to receive occasional mailings from time to time with further offers from Johnson & Johnson. You can also attend at the Johnson’s Baby Website to sign up for their free personalized newsletter, as well as special offers. When you sign up, you will automatically be entered for a chance to win a diaper bag filled with $50 worth of Johnson’s Baby products. There is one winner each month. Good luck! Residents of Canada can call Johnson & Johnson to receive a “New Parent’s Pack” with free samples, coupons, and literature.

4. Bright Beginnings
www.brightbeginnings.com
Bright Beginnings, the fastest-growing baby formula in the United States, is offering a free sample of Bright Beginnings baby formula, coupons & more. Residents of the U.S. can sign up online at the Bright Beginnings website.

5. Nestlé Infant Nutrition
In the United States, call 800-242-5200
In Canada, call 800-387-5536
U.S. Website: www.verybestbaby.com
Canadian Website: www.nestle.ca (click on “Good Start Magazine”)
Call to join Very Best Baby to receive a free 6-month subscription to The Very Best Baby magazine, as well as to receive free money-saving checks for Nestle Infant Nutrition products. You can also register online to join the Very Best Baby at the above-listed Website. When you register online, you can choose to receive an assortment of free benefits.
Residents of Canada can call the above-listed number to receive a FREE subscription to the Nestlé Baby Magazine for expecting and new moms. Along with your free magazine subscription, you will receive valuable coupons, free samples of infant formula and baby cereal (if you choose), plus information and savings on special products for new parents. You can also subscribe online to the Nestle Baby Magazine by visiting the website listed above.

6. Similac Welcome Addition Club
In the United States, call 800-BABYLINE (press #1)
In Canada, call 800-518-CLUB
U.S. Website: www.welcomeaddition.com
Canadian Website: www.welcomeaddition.com (click on “Join the Club”)
Call the above-listed toll-free number, or attend at the Website listed above to join “The Similac Welcome Addition Club”. Member benefits include money-saving discounts, free samples of Similac Infant Formulas, periodic newsletters containing expert pregnancy and parenting advice, or other gifts. Residents of Canada can call the toll-free number, or write to the address listed above to join the “Welcome Addition Club” to receive coupons, free samples, and a free gift for your baby.

7. Enfamil Family Beginnings (Mead Johnson Nutritionals)
In the United States, call: 800-BABY-123 (press #6)
In Canada, call 800-361-6323
U.S. Website:www.enfamil.com
Canadian Website: www.enfamil.ca
The “Enfamil Family Beginnings” program is a free program that is brought to you by Mead Johnson. Call the above-listed toll-free number to take part in the program and receive valuable retail checks and special offers. You can also register online at the above-listed Website to join the “Enfamil Family Beginnings” program.
Attend at http://www.enfamil.com/enfamil8.html/ to print out a page to pack in your suitcase and give to your nurse at the hospital when your baby arrives to receive a free diaper bag and other free samples.(Offer available at participating hospitals.)
Residents of Canada can call to receive discounts on baby formula, and to join the “Enfamil First Connections” program. When you join “Enfamil First Connections”, you’ll receive a keepsake box with a free product sample and coupons, informational brochures, & more. You can also register online at the above-listed Website to join “Enfamil First Connections”.

8. Gerber Products Company
In the United States & Canada, call 800-4GERBER
U.S. Website: www.gerber.com/mygerber/register.asp
Canadian Website: www.gerbercanada.com
Call to receive coupons for baby food, a free informational booklet, and a free baby spoon. Check out Gerber’s Website to receive up to $50 in valuable coupons for Gerber products, special offers, free samples and more when you join “Growing Up Gerber”.

9. H.J. Heinz Company
In the United States, call 800-USA-BABY (press #2)
In Canada, call 800-565-2100
www.heinzbaby.com
Call the above-listed number to receive a free feeding booklet with discount coupons, as well as other free promotional offers from Heinz. Residents of Canada can call the above-noted number to participate in the “Children’s Miracle Network” program, a label-saving program where you can collect and send in the labels/box tops from any Heinz baby product. Through the Children’s Miracle Network, Heinz will make a donation of 6 cents for each label collected to a local participating children’s hospital.

10. American Baby Magazine
U.S. Website: www.freebiesquest.com(click on “baby & toddler”)
Get a FREE subscription to American Baby magazine! Are you a new or expecting parent? Do you know someone who is expecting a baby or who has a baby under 1 year of age? Check out Hannah’s website at www.freestuff4baby.com for tons of baby freebies and parenting resources!

_____________________________________________________

***For more baby freebies, don’t forget to check out Sue Hannah’s website at www.Free-Baby-Samples.com where parents can sign up for these and other terrific baby freebies. SIMPLE, FAST…..AND FREE!!!

Sue M. Hannah is the author of “Free Stuff For Baby!”, published by McGraw-Hill Publishing Companies. Check out her website at www.Free-Baby-Samples.com for more baby freebies!

Allow me to paint you a picture. You and your teen talk about issues and rules as they come up. While you have disagreements that you resolve, you never have fights where one person wins and the other loses.

Sound impossible? I raised two kids that way and now I am going to share seven steps to lead you down the same path.

* If you want your child to talk with you, then give him a reason to trust you. Keep his confidence. Ask him if what he tells you is something between the two of you or if it is okay to share it with anyone, including family members. Honor his wishes.

* When you listen, be there 100%. Erase any other thoughts or postpone them until later. Let your mind be free to focus on what your teenager is communicating — spoken and unspoken.

You can be there, fully at 100%, when you are not listening to that Little Voice in your head tell you about your child or what he is saying. Instead you will actually be listening to the words of your child, his emotions and his complete message! Big difference. Huge impact for both you and for your teen.

You must be free from agendas to be there 100%. You have no idea what your teen is about to tell you nor do you have any idea what he wants in coming to you, so ask.

* Ask how your child wants to be listened to. Does he want an opinion, suggestions, advice, or does he just want to blow off steam? No guessing allowed! When you guess wrong, you frustrate him by going in a direction he does not want to go. He may see his effort to talk with you as a waste of time and decide not to make that mistake again.

* For accurate communication, ask questions — not intrusive, prying ones, but check-ins to be certain you are hearing the message as your child intended you to hear and interpret it.

Be sure you are hearing what your teen means to say rather than what you want your teen to say or what you think your teen should say. Respond to a thought saying something like, “Is it accurate that you do not like it when X happens?”

If that is correct, he will say yes and if not, then he will state his thought differently. Check again — you want to understand him.

When your child sees that you are truly available and paying attention he just may feel understood — at least in that moment. The more moments he feels that way, the more frequently he will talk to you.

* Listen without judgment.

* Listen without expectation. When you have no attachment to what will be said or the outcome of what you hear, then you are free to pay attention to every word and every non-verbal clue.

Take all that information, check for your accurate understanding, then follow through with the request your child made for how he wants you to listen to him.

Your young adult may share things that surprise or scare you. He may do that to see your reaction — or he may do that because he trusts you enough to be frank and honest. Your challenge is to listen honestly.

If you are surprised, it is okay and, in fact wise, to say so. Note that it is honest to share your feelings about what he said. However, telling him he is wrong or he should have done such and such differently is judging.

You might follow the judgment with a conviction and a sentence. Such actions could cause you to lose the trust that led to his coming to you in the first place. Then you are back to having a teenager who doesn’t talk and likes to fight.

Consider that there is more than one way to do things and there is more than one solution to any problem. When your child tells you about something you cannot understand, ask about his thinking that led to that action. Ask as many questions as you need to so you can see his perspective.

Seeing his perspective is not the same as approving or agreeing with it. On the other hand, you may gain a fresh view on whatever the issue is.

*If your child has done something that breaks a law or a rule in your family, address that issue. Brainstorm for solutions together. Empower your teen to be responsible for every action he takes — or fails to take — in his life.

Pretending not to notice undesirable behaviors will not make them disappear. Follow the same brainstorming techniques to deal with such instances. You will be surprised how simple it is to create win-win outcomes. I did not say easy. I said simple. Success happens after doing it, doing it, doing it, until it becomes natural. Yes, that task may take effort and seem like work.

Actions and results, desirable and undesirable, reflect self esteem. To change behaviors, treat the cause not just the symptoms.

What are the hidden thoughts of your teen costing him — and you?

Ali Bierman, parent, psychotherapist and author of the popular ebook, Parents, You Gotta Ask Questions: How To Build Adolescent Self Esteem, will take you by the hand and show you how she raised two great kids with open communication. To find out more and grab your gift, the e-course, Parents, Are You Making These 6 Mistakes With Your Teen? click here www.saveyourchildnow.com

In many western countries we have a problem with teenagers. Many have lots of spare time with little to do. They have no status. I am talking about those who are between about 14 and 18 years old. Not all cultures are like this. For many - perhaps the majority - this age group forms a significant part of their economy. Not so in the West. Far from having a virtuous group that add value to the economy we have teenage louts that cost us money.

Of course, the vast majority of teenagers are NOT louts and never will be. This is a minority, but a damaging minority at that.

Western countries (and many others, no doubt) have had a shameful history of exploiting the young. Years ago, children were sent down mines, under (and even inside) dangerous machinery and up chimneys. Because they were smaller than average they could get to nooks and crannies that adults couldn’t reach. Charles Dickens did a great service in highlighting some of these practices which thankfully are a thing of the past. The problem is that, now that these practices have been banished, we have thrown the baby out with the bath water. We have denied teenagers the right to earn some money, get some work experience and get a running start in a career. Worse of all, we have an army of teenagers with no status in society.

In the UK, for instance, where education is very much academic-based, we have the ridiculous spectacle of 15 year olds sitting at the back of class, not engaging with the lesson at all and completely wasting their time. There are many kids out there who should be getting on with something they can do (and can learn to do) that are being force-fed Shakespeare or something equally inappropriate. The madness of this is that government and education authorities scratch their heads wondering why these kids sometimes behave in a disruptive manner or even get themselves into trouble with the police. Don’t get me wrong, there is no excuse for such behaviour and it should be stamped on, but let us at least recognise that if we do not assign any kind of status to youngsters - and what better status than doing a worthwhile job - then it is likely that we will create an underclass of the disenfranchised. Saying to them: just sit things out at the back of class until you are old enough to leave school is ridiculous and such a waste of their lives. Surely we need all sections of society to be part of that society and not be pushed away.

Academic work is only one aspect of working life. There need to be do-ers out there who make things and mend things. We can’t all be accountants, architects or civil servants: someone needs make the money for the accountants to count. Someone needs to build the buildings that the architects design. I’ll exaggerate to make the point: Shakespeare is a hobby, but producing things is for real.

Let us make sure all the protective measures are in place to ensure that youngsters are not exploited in any way and then let’s at least make sure the law allows them to work either part time whilst still at school, or full time as an alternative to school. Let’s give them the status that they have a right to expect. Then see how petty crime and vandalism amongst this group suddenly drops.

Now, I have a job for some of them, if they are interested. There are some companies out there with electronic fly killer machines that appear to be working but are ineffective. This is because, although the attractant light is throwing out visible light, the ultra violet emissions from the light have degraded to nothing (this happens after about a year of continuous use). So, perhaps some companies who have fly killer machines can employ some teenagers to use our UV Light Meter to test their fly killers. I’m sure Dickens would approve even if Shakespeare would not.

Have a look at the UV
Light Meter. Have a look here for replacement uv
bulbs