The Jeffrey And Tracey Info Emporium

Allow me to paint you a picture. You and your teen talk about issues and rules as they come up. While you have disagreements that you resolve, you never have fights where one person wins and the other loses.

Sound impossible? I raised two kids that way and now I am going to share seven steps to lead you down the same path.

* If you want your child to talk with you, then give him a reason to trust you. Keep his confidence. Ask him if what he tells you is something between the two of you or if it is okay to share it with anyone, including family members. Honor his wishes.

* When you listen, be there 100%. Erase any other thoughts or postpone them until later. Let your mind be free to focus on what your teenager is communicating — spoken and unspoken.

You can be there, fully at 100%, when you are not listening to that Little Voice in your head tell you about your child or what he is saying. Instead you will actually be listening to the words of your child, his emotions and his complete message! Big difference. Huge impact for both you and for your teen.

You must be free from agendas to be there 100%. You have no idea what your teen is about to tell you nor do you have any idea what he wants in coming to you, so ask.

* Ask how your child wants to be listened to. Does he want an opinion, suggestions, advice, or does he just want to blow off steam? No guessing allowed! When you guess wrong, you frustrate him by going in a direction he does not want to go. He may see his effort to talk with you as a waste of time and decide not to make that mistake again.

* For accurate communication, ask questions — not intrusive, prying ones, but check-ins to be certain you are hearing the message as your child intended you to hear and interpret it.

Be sure you are hearing what your teen means to say rather than what you want your teen to say or what you think your teen should say. Respond to a thought saying something like, “Is it accurate that you do not like it when X happens?”

If that is correct, he will say yes and if not, then he will state his thought differently. Check again — you want to understand him.

When your child sees that you are truly available and paying attention he just may feel understood — at least in that moment. The more moments he feels that way, the more frequently he will talk to you.

* Listen without judgment.

* Listen without expectation. When you have no attachment to what will be said or the outcome of what you hear, then you are free to pay attention to every word and every non-verbal clue.

Take all that information, check for your accurate understanding, then follow through with the request your child made for how he wants you to listen to him.

Your young adult may share things that surprise or scare you. He may do that to see your reaction — or he may do that because he trusts you enough to be frank and honest. Your challenge is to listen honestly.

If you are surprised, it is okay and, in fact wise, to say so. Note that it is honest to share your feelings about what he said. However, telling him he is wrong or he should have done such and such differently is judging.

You might follow the judgment with a conviction and a sentence. Such actions could cause you to lose the trust that led to his coming to you in the first place. Then you are back to having a teenager who doesn’t talk and likes to fight.

Consider that there is more than one way to do things and there is more than one solution to any problem. When your child tells you about something you cannot understand, ask about his thinking that led to that action. Ask as many questions as you need to so you can see his perspective.

Seeing his perspective is not the same as approving or agreeing with it. On the other hand, you may gain a fresh view on whatever the issue is.

*If your child has done something that breaks a law or a rule in your family, address that issue. Brainstorm for solutions together. Empower your teen to be responsible for every action he takes — or fails to take — in his life.

Pretending not to notice undesirable behaviors will not make them disappear. Follow the same brainstorming techniques to deal with such instances. You will be surprised how simple it is to create win-win outcomes. I did not say easy. I said simple. Success happens after doing it, doing it, doing it, until it becomes natural. Yes, that task may take effort and seem like work.

Actions and results, desirable and undesirable, reflect self esteem. To change behaviors, treat the cause not just the symptoms.

What are the hidden thoughts of your teen costing him — and you?

Ali Bierman, parent, psychotherapist and author of the popular ebook, Parents, You Gotta Ask Questions: How To Build Adolescent Self Esteem, will take you by the hand and show you how she raised two great kids with open communication. To find out more and grab your gift, the e-course, Parents, Are You Making These 6 Mistakes With Your Teen? click here www.saveyourchildnow.com

In many western countries we have a problem with teenagers. Many have lots of spare time with little to do. They have no status. I am talking about those who are between about 14 and 18 years old. Not all cultures are like this. For many - perhaps the majority - this age group forms a significant part of their economy. Not so in the West. Far from having a virtuous group that add value to the economy we have teenage louts that cost us money.

Of course, the vast majority of teenagers are NOT louts and never will be. This is a minority, but a damaging minority at that.

Western countries (and many others, no doubt) have had a shameful history of exploiting the young. Years ago, children were sent down mines, under (and even inside) dangerous machinery and up chimneys. Because they were smaller than average they could get to nooks and crannies that adults couldn’t reach. Charles Dickens did a great service in highlighting some of these practices which thankfully are a thing of the past. The problem is that, now that these practices have been banished, we have thrown the baby out with the bath water. We have denied teenagers the right to earn some money, get some work experience and get a running start in a career. Worse of all, we have an army of teenagers with no status in society.

In the UK, for instance, where education is very much academic-based, we have the ridiculous spectacle of 15 year olds sitting at the back of class, not engaging with the lesson at all and completely wasting their time. There are many kids out there who should be getting on with something they can do (and can learn to do) that are being force-fed Shakespeare or something equally inappropriate. The madness of this is that government and education authorities scratch their heads wondering why these kids sometimes behave in a disruptive manner or even get themselves into trouble with the police. Don’t get me wrong, there is no excuse for such behaviour and it should be stamped on, but let us at least recognise that if we do not assign any kind of status to youngsters - and what better status than doing a worthwhile job - then it is likely that we will create an underclass of the disenfranchised. Saying to them: just sit things out at the back of class until you are old enough to leave school is ridiculous and such a waste of their lives. Surely we need all sections of society to be part of that society and not be pushed away.

Academic work is only one aspect of working life. There need to be do-ers out there who make things and mend things. We can’t all be accountants, architects or civil servants: someone needs make the money for the accountants to count. Someone needs to build the buildings that the architects design. I’ll exaggerate to make the point: Shakespeare is a hobby, but producing things is for real.

Let us make sure all the protective measures are in place to ensure that youngsters are not exploited in any way and then let’s at least make sure the law allows them to work either part time whilst still at school, or full time as an alternative to school. Let’s give them the status that they have a right to expect. Then see how petty crime and vandalism amongst this group suddenly drops.

Now, I have a job for some of them, if they are interested. There are some companies out there with electronic fly killer machines that appear to be working but are ineffective. This is because, although the attractant light is throwing out visible light, the ultra violet emissions from the light have degraded to nothing (this happens after about a year of continuous use). So, perhaps some companies who have fly killer machines can employ some teenagers to use our UV Light Meter to test their fly killers. I’m sure Dickens would approve even if Shakespeare would not.

Have a look at the UV
Light Meter. Have a look here for replacement uv
bulbs

As a parent you have many important priorities when it comes to your child. You need to keep your child safe, healthy, and loved. In today’s hectic world, we often spend so much time engaged on those priorities we forget another important area — mental stimulation. As parents we need to engage our children’s minds as well as their bodies in order for them to grow and learn. One of the best ways to achieve this goal is through reading.

There are a number of reasons why you should read to your child. If you are already reading to your child on a daily basis then these reasons should strengthen your resolve and if you are regularly reading to your child they should challenge you to do so:

1. A carefully selected story challenges and engages your child’s mind. Through books your child can not only re-live experiences in their own life but also learn and experience cultures and events far removed from their current scope.

2. Reading out loud demonstrates what good reading sounds like and provides a goal for the child’s literacy efforts. As your child learns to read, he or she will need role models to follow. Shouldn’t you be one of them?

3. Sharing a variety of books improves your child’s knowledge of language including vocabulary, sentence structure, and pronunciation. The more your child knows about words and language then the more knowledge and experience she will have to draw upon while learning to read and the easier it will be for her to learn.

4. Reading with your child helps the child connect print words and meaning. Children learn to read many words simply through repeated exposure. It is not enough to simply provide words and instead the words must also be placed in context.

5. Reading demonstrates how a book works, such as that we read a book from front cover to back cover and a page from top to bottom, and a line from left to right. Those of us with long experience with books take this knowledge for granted but young children need to learn these simple rules.

6. A well-written story stimulates your child’s imagination and creativity which can foster their own creative efforts and play.

7. Reading a variety of stories helps children learn how story structure and narrative works which will help in literacy as well as social interaction. Human beings use story telling and narrative in our professional and personal interactions and the people who have the best grasp of narrative technique are often the most successful in these areas. Give your child an edge.

8. Making literacy a priority in your life will demonstrate its importance to your child so they will make it a priority in theirs. If your child never sees you read then why would they think it is important?

9. Reading to a child also promotes physical contact as your child sits on your lap or cuddles beside you. It provides another opportunity to strengthen your bond with your child.

10. Listening to the human voice can be very soothing and especially when it is the voice of a loved one. It can help lower stress levels and bring comfort. Children face many stresses during the day just as do adults. You might find taking the time to read to your child not only reduces their stress level but yours as well.

You should make reading to your child a part of your regular daily routine but also include spontaneous opportunities as well. Not only will these moments draw you closer to your child and provide lasting memories but you are also giving your child benefits that will impact their entire life.

Writer, educator and mother Deanna Mascle shares more articles and resources about Teaching Your Child To Read at YouCanTeachYourChildToRead.com

That child of mine is turning into demon baby bit by bit everyday. Recently she has reverted back to her newborn self and doesn’t want to sleep through the night. First of all the child has never ever liked to go to bed. Ever. As a three month old she would stay awake all night, not crying, just laughing, playing, hanging out while I quietly prayed to God asking him what did I do to deserve the non-sleeping baby. I’ve pulled many a twenty-four hour night because she wouldn’t sleep and refused to lay down.

So, last night she wakes up around four in the morning and starts a hollering. I go and get her, thinking that if I lay her down with me she’ll go to sleep and then I can put her back in bed. No. Little Ms. Insomniac wants to play. So I let her no that that’s not an option and put her little butt back to bed. Of course that doesn’t go over well and she starts screaming bloody murder. I mean you’d think I was beating the child senseless.

Well this screaming match wakes my mother up and she just knows I’m abusing the baby or something. I say no, Little Ms. Insomniac just doesn’t want to go to bed. She insists that I stop her from hollering since she knows someone is going to call the cops since it sounds like I’m killing the baby. I politely remind her that said baby only cries like that ’cause grandma would go and pick her up when she cried saying, “Oh that baby isn’t sleepy. That’s not right to make her cry. Go and pick her up.” So grandma would go and pick the baby up…creating our current little monster.

Well of course mom doesn’t like that bit of information so she promptly marches in the room to tell little baby to “Hush right now. Stop all that screaming and go to bed.” Of course my little angel starts to scream more. So I relent. Go and pick her up and once again lay her down with me. Except my little munchkin decides that she wants to get up and walk around. This ticks grandma off who insists, “Oh no. She will not walk around. You’re going to bed little girl.” So she grabs her grandbaby and puts her to bed, closes the door and lets her precious grandbaby cry herself to sleep. At which point she refers to her as the Screamin’ Demon. Of course if she would have just let her do that in the beginning we wouldn’t have had all that drama and I would have been able to actually get some sleep.

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Have you found yourself running out to the mall and buying toy after toy for you kids simply because they have friends who have this toy, only to find the toy isn’t even played with a couple of weeks after being purchased. The cycle then resurfaces for the next toy of the moment your child tells you he or she wants. Playing with toys is not only be fun, but with the right toys play time can also stimulate your child’s imagination and creativity. Although malls have many toy stores and department stores, these stores tend to all carry the same set of toys and products. They follow the tried and true formula for carrying products, allowing for little to no unique products.

Children tend to want the same toys as their friends simply because whoever is first to get it will be the proud owner of a new unique toy. This novelty of having a unique toy soon wears off as each of your children’s friends now has this same toy, all purchased from the same store in the mall. A child’s creativity needs the right creative toys to continue growing.

As a parent you walk a fine line between spoiling a child and rewarding them with new toys. But from experience you know that the euphoria from having a unique toy fades as the toy becomes mainstream. What are you to do so as to not fall in this cycle?

The answer is found on the Internet! Many toy stores have opened online selling unique, creative, imaginative, or simply hard to find toys products. Very few specialty stores will carry products that can be found at another store that specializes in carrying unique items.

The next time a toy purchase is planned, why not bring your child with you to the computer and show them all of the stuff they never would have known exists if you had gone to shop at your area mall. You never know what you could find.

Does your child like building blocks, such as Legos? Then why not try Clics, a building material that clicks together with endless opportunities for your little one. Blast off to the moon, or to completely new worlds with the Clics rocket, or ride the Orient Express with the Clics train set. And those are simply the special Clics sets. With buckets of Clics there is no limit as to what can be built. Creativity and imagination are able to run free while designing the next great structure.

Buying toys online also make it easy to find the perfect unique birthday or holiday gift for not only your own child, but for family and friends as well.

Andrew Serrano is the owner of http://www.kidlotz.com, a children’s store that sells unique and educational children’s toys and products. KidLotz.com’s product line includes nique product line includes items for all age groups: Pedal Cars, Wildlife Animal Chess Sets, Night Lights, Clics, Prayer Bears, Growth Charts,Wood Toys, Graduation Photo Frames, and many more.

Your little one is growing like a weed and drinking you out of house and home. You may be wondering if your little one is ready for some solid food. Here are a few tips to help you determine if your baby is ready to take the next step.

Gone are the days when anxious moms start their little ones on cereal somewhere between six and twelve weeks. To be honest, these moms did this for their own convenience, rather than the baby’s health. Starting a baby on cereal early can help them sleep through the night sooner, which, I know, sounds heavenly. But here’s why it’s not a good idea. Your baby’s tummy is just not developed enough to properly digest solids, even watered down cereal, just yet. If you force the issue, you are inviting a tummy ache, or worse, a true gastric disorder. So, when those older ladies give you this advice, smile and ignore it. But don’t fault them too much. About 30 years ago, this was considered the thing to do, and even pediatricians endorsed it.

Today, most pediatricians will recommend that you wait until your baby is five to six months old to start solids. In addition to using this age as a guideline, there are some signs you can look for that indicates that your child is really ready. If you wait until you see some signs of readiness in your child, you will likely have much better success than if you just pick a day and start.

First, is your baby interested in what you are eating for dinner? At four and a half months, my daughter was literally grabbing for my plate when she sat with us at the table. Since she was clearly interested, we started her just a bit before she turned five months.

Another good indicator is that your child can sit fairly well, with only a little support. It’s much easier to feed them solids when they are somewhat able to support themselves. You will probably still have to support them with pillows or rolled up towels for a while, especially if you put them straight into the high chair. There are some great feeding chairs for younger children that can work better than a high chair in the early days.

If you think your baby is ready for solids, check out my article on the best starter foods. You can find it in “Mommy to Mommy - The Truth about Taking Care of Baby” at http://www.educatedmother.com.

Sarah is a 41 year old wife and mother of two boys and one girl. She spent many years as a manager in the corporate world, and gave it up to be a stay at home mom.

Go to http://www.infantresources.com now and get her incredible baby minicourse - absolutely free.

It’s an exciting time - you’re having a baby, and one of the most important things to think about is what name you’re going to give your child. There are countless sources to check through, searching for inspiration, and it can get incredibly confusing! Not only that, but everyone you know seems keen to give you their opinion of names they like, and they’re always quick to tell you about all the awful people they’ve known who had the same names you’re considering.

So where to start? Well, there’s one big baby name decision that needs to be made, and by making it first, you cut down a lot of the searching. That decision is - do you want to give your child a unique name that no one else will have, or do you use a name that’s in common usage. There are pros and cons to both choices, so let’s take a look at those.

Firstly, unique names. By this I don’t necessarily mean a name that’s just not used much - I mean a name you create yourself, just for your baby. Having a unique name will certainly make your baby unique too - she’s not going to get mixed up with three other kids in her grade with the same name. It can be great to have a story behind a name, too, so that when people say, “gee, that’s an unusual name” you can explain how it came about. Many children with unique names grow up to be very proud of having a unique name, and keen to repeat the story too.

But there’s a downside to having a unique baby name too - the fact that it’s different. Being different is often a trigger for other kids to make fun, and so your child’s name may be ridiculed or altered, and made a target of jokes. It can also get very tiresome to constantly have to spell your name for people because nobody else will be sure exactly how to spell it. Your child may well end up being heartily sick of having a unique name, and could even go as far as to invent a nickname or alternate name for every day use.

Choosing a common name doesn’t in any way make your child common. Every child is unique, no matter what name they have. Names come and go in popularity, and it quite often happens that more than one child in a class has the same first name. It’s unlikely that they’ll get teased for that. It’s possible that your child might resent having the same name as others, but in that situation it often happens that their peers find a way of identifying each child as different, through some type of nickname.

There are a couple of solutions to the baby name dilemma, for example you may really want to give your child a unique name, but perhaps don’t want her to suffer at the hands of merciless peers. In that situation, why not give your baby a unique middle name? Then you can match it with a more common first name. You get the best of both worlds!

With my own children, I gave both of them first names that weren’t common or popular, but at the same time, they’re well known enough that people don’t scratch their heads and wonder where the heck that name came from. I’ve found that’s worked very well.

One final word of warning - some people try and solve this dilemma by giving their child a common name but spelling it in a unique way. I have two friends in that situation, and my advice is - don’t do it! They are both completely fed up with having to spell their name over and over again, and even now they curse their parents for having spelled their names in such a different way. So if you’re going to use a common name, for the sake of your child, spell it in the same way everyone else does!

There’s loads more helpful baby information at Info About Baby You can sign up for a FREE Baby Tips newsletter at Baby Tips Newsletter. The author’s book about babies is available at Baby’s First Year

Parenting Question

“Kelly, I am a concerned aunt who has heard you on the
radio and like your practical and straightforward approach. I have a BIG
question. Recently, my 13-year-old niece has become friends with a group (some
who think it is fun to hang out on the streets) who are negatively impacting her
life. Once an honor roll student, her grades have plummeted and she is now on
the verge of expulsion. Often she does not come home on weekends and is doing
drugs. She hasn’t taken crystal meth, but it seems that she is on that path. I
am scared for her and for my brother who has picked her up now six times from
the emergency room after various overdoses. Her punishments don’t seem to be
working. Yet, how else can we get her to listen? My question is what can I do
and what can parents do to prevent this from happening to their kids?”Aunt Who
Is Concerned About Difficult Behavior in Adolescents

Positive Parenting Tip for Difficult Behavior in Adolescents

Dear Aunt Who Is Concerned About Difficult Behavior in Adolescents:

You are not alone in your concern when it comes to teens and the negative
influence drugs can have on their life. The American 2004 Partnership Attitude
Tracking Study (PATS) found that:

• Less than 18% of parents believe their teenager has smoked marijuana, yet
39% percent of teens report using this drug.

• Just 1% of parents today believe their teen has used Ecstasy, yet 9% of
teens (approximately 2.1 million) state they have used this drug.

• Although most parents say they believe it is important to discuss drugs with
their kids, less than 35% of teens report learning a lot about the dangers of
drugs from home.

When teens do not learn about the risks of drugs from home (other than the
glamorized versions of drug addiction depicted on television and in the movies),
you can bet they are learning from their friends. This is exactly why education
in the home is so important.

Preventing Difficult Behavior in Adolescents

There are simple, powerful ways to help your child be protected from the
negative effects of drugs and alcohol. You can make a critical difference in
your teenager’s life by:

1. Building Your Child’s Self-esteem - All children want to belong and
please their parents. And yet, if their sole self-esteem comes from being a
“pleaser” who is fed by outside validation alone (rather than by feeling good
about themselves), they can be easily seduced by their peers to experiment with
drugs. Help prevent your child from seeking external validation later on by
focusing on your child’s passions at an early age, helping them learn from the
consequences of their own actions, and by using encouragement that feeds their
internal validation (all discussed in detail in my book When You’re About To Go
Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You).

2. Teaching Them about the REAL Effects of Drugs - The more children know
about the reality of drug addiction and life on the streets, the better off they
will be. All children are curious about the world and about “forbidden fruits”.
The more you hide, the more they will seek. Discuss and look for lessons around
the tough stuff like drugs and alcohol as they come up in your child’s life.
Talk about the uncle who is an alcoholic, the cousin who is a drug addict and
look for movies or experiences (like a visit to a drug rehab center) that
illustrate the detrimental effects of drugs.

3. Using Consequences that are Directly Related to Misbehavior - When
dealing with difficult behavior in adolescents, avoid punishments such as taking
away privileges: they only teach a child to “not get caught” next time. Make
certain the consequence is related to your child’s misbehavior. For instance, if
your child comes home late, taking away TV privileges is not related and will
probably be ineffective. Telling them they will need to come home one hour
earlier until they prove to you they can be trusted to follow their curfew is
related. The more harshly you punish, the more your child will learn how to
become a good liar. Keep your consequences firm, but kind. This will help to
keep the communication lines open, an essential for keeping your children safe.

4. Coming Clean with Your Own History about Drugs and Alcohol -
Pretending that you are “holier than thou” when you yourself experimented with
drugs and alcoholand the evidence is overwhelming that you did at least one of
these before the legal age limitonly makes you a hypocrite. Your children will
see right through you. If you yourself are a substance abuser, take a good hard
look in the mirror. Children tend to model exactly what they see. Be honest and
forthcoming with your concerns.

Dealing with Adolescent Substance Abuse

If your teen is already doing drugs or alcohol, here are some suggestions:

1. Steer Clear from Punishments - Many parents, counselors and other
experts speak of a ‘zero tolerance’ policy and recommend firm punishment. As
stated above, if the punishment you’re dishing out is not directly related to
the misbehavior, you will only be teaching your teen to not get caught next
time. You are also not giving them an opportunity to really learn from their
experiences. I recently counseled a 16-year-old who attends weekly parties where
lots of drugs are present. She simply stated, “When my mom comes down harsh on
me, I just want to do it more.”

2. Get Outside Help If Your Teen is Addicted - Drug addiction is too big
a problem to deal with aloneperiod! Learn the signs and act quickly. When it
comes to breaking an addiction, constant and professional supervision is needed.
Contact drug and alcohol rehab centers in your area and get help.

3. Be Open to Hearing the Tough Stuff - Strive for open and respectful
communication between you and your teen. Listen to them and listen well. What is
it that they are really needing? If you jump all over your teen when they tell
you they would like to know what it’s like to be drunk, find out more. The more
you can hear, the more they will telland the better chance you have of keeping
them safe.

4. Create a Solid Community - The more extended family members and
friends that your teen feels comfortable sharing with, the better! Develop this
network and find ways to keep your teen involved in positive and meaningful
ways. Encourage and look for ways your teen can make positive contributions to
your family, your religious organization, your community, etc.

Experimentation with drugs and alcohol are the most difficult behaviors in
adolescents that parents will facewhether they want to or not. There are no
quick and simple answers. Although you may want to lock your teen up until they
make it safely to age 21, this solution isn’t practical or feasible. Improve
your chances of keeping your teen safe by keeping the communication lines open,
having clearly defined rules, and remaining kindbut firm.

Kelly Nault, MA author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End,
Don’t Take Your Kids With You inspires moms to put themselves firstfor the
sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to
want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her
free online parenting course here.

You are free to print or publish this article provided the article and bio
remain as written and include a link to http://www.mommymoments.com as above.

© 2005 UltimateParent.com - All rights reserved.

Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of your fondest memories are of outdoor activities and places. Perhaps you had a favorite climbing tree or secret hiding place. Maybe you remember jumping rope or learning to turn cartwheels with your best friend or playing fetch with the family dog. Do you recall the smell of lilacs, the feel of the sun on the first day warm enough to take off your jacket, or the taste of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich eaten on a blanket in the park? Did you enjoy lying on your back and finding creatures in the clouds?

Now ask yourself: Don’t I want my child to have similar memories? Wonderful, happy memories?

Unfortunately, a great many of today’s children will grow up without such fond memories because today’s children spend far less time outdoors than did previous generations. According to William Doherty of the University of Minnesota, over the last twenty years there has been a 25 percent decline in the time children spend playing and a 50 percent decline in time spent in unstructured outdoor activities.

It is unfortunate because when children spend most of their time indoors, they’ll not just be missing out on memories but also on everything else the outdoors has to offer them.

To begin with, the outdoors is the best place for young children to practice and master emerging physical skills and to experience the pure joy of movement. It’s also the place where they’re likely to burn the most calories, which is absolutely necessary in the fight against obesity.

Also, the outside light stimulates the pineal gland, which is the part of the brain that helps regulate the biological clock, is vital to the immune system, and simply makes us feel happier. Outside light triggers the synthesis of vitamin D. And a number of studies have demonstrated that it increases academic learning and productivity!

Young children learn much through their senses, and the outdoors is a virtual wonderland for the senses. There are different and incredible things for the children to see (insects, clouds, and shadows), to hear (traffic sounds, birdsongs, leaves rustling in the wind), to smell (flowers and the rain-soaked ground), to touch (a fuzzy caterpillar or the bark of a tree), and even to taste (newly fallen snow, a raindrop, or a freshly picked blueberry). Children who spend much of their time acquiring experiences through television, computers, and even books are using only two senses (hearing and sight), and this can seriously affect their perceptual abilities. Additionally, much of this learning, which falls under the content area of science, can’t be acquired indoors. Nor can children who spend most of their time indoors be expected to learn to care for the environment.

Outside, children are more likely to invent games. As they do, they’re able to express themselves and learn about the world in their own way. They feel safe and in control, which promotes autonomy, decision making, and organizational skills. Inventing rules for games promotes an understanding of why rules are necessary. And although children are just playing to have fun, they learn:

* communication skills and vocabulary, as they invent, modify, and enforce rules;

* number relationships, as they keep score and count; and

* social skills, as they learn to play together.

Then, too, there’s the aesthetic value of the outdoors. Because the natural world is filled with amazing sights, sounds, and textures, it’s the perfect resource for the development of aesthetics in young children. Since aesthetic awareness means a heightened sensitivity to the beauty around us, it’s something that can serve children well at those times when, as adolescents and adults, the world seems less than beautiful.

Further, Mary Rivkin, author of The Great Outdoors: Restoring Children’s Right to Play Outside, tells us there is on very basic reason that children need to experience being outside: humans evolved in the outdoors. They thus have a link with nature that can’t be replaced - in fact, will be atrophied - by technology. She asks if, lacking intimate association with nature, we can still be human!

Children learn their values from the important adults in their lives. When they’re not encouraged to go outdoors, they learn sedentary habits not easily changed and, more unfortunately, that the outdoor environment is of little significance.

Rae Pica is a children’s physical activity specialist and author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activities (McGraw-Hill, 2003). You can visit Rae and read more articles at http://www.movinganndlearning.com.

No matter how old your children are, you have an immense power to affect their growth, development and success in life. By actively pursuing activities that contribute to the better development of their brain, you provide them with an advantage over all other kids, and increase their chances to be successful in life. By doing that, you also make sure they will have plenty of experiences of success and achievement, so that they become self confident, positive and optimistic.

There is a lot of talk recently about the “Right Brain/Left Brain” issue. Basically, researchers have found that the human left brain is “responsible” for completely different functions than the right brain. Researchers have concluded that in every person, one of these hemispheres of the brain is dominant. According to this theory, the left brain is the analytical one, responsible for measurement, logic, math, analysis and the right brain is responsible for creativity, art, intuition and the use of words. Some people even claim that men are left brain dominant, while women are usually right brain dominant, and proceed to explain that men think in pictures, while women think in words. No wonder, they claim, there is such a big gap in communication between men and women!

Research has shown that it is very important to increase the communication, or the connection between the 2 hemispheres of the brain. If we do that, we increase the functionality of the brain. This can be done in all ages, and has proven to be beneficial.
Improved balance between the two hemispheres, improves peace of mind, harmony, reading and comprehension, and develops better concentration and focus.

The activities that have been shown to develop and improve the brain hemisphere connectivity are usually the ones that use both sides of the body in concert. The cross pattern we all use while walking or swimming and babies use when they crawl, develops and strengthens the connection between the brain hemispheres. By cross pattern, I mean the movement when we bring the right arm and the left leg forward, and then the left arm and the right leg. It has been shown that some brain injured children who did not crawl, developed severe handicaps, and by practicing the activity of crawling, they have shown surprising improvements.

If you have a very young baby, and you want to help it develop strength in both sides of the brain, you can massage both feet or both hands, for a few minutes, several times every day. When you gently massage your baby’s feet, and stimulate both feet at the same time, and then each foot - one after the other, and watch your baby’s face, you will notice that your baby enjoys this activity very much. It is not necessarily a calming activity, because massaging the baby’s feet is actually stimulating.

I recommend doing this a few minutes every day, before or after changing the baby’s diapers. This activity also forces you to take a few minutes a day to look into your baby’s eyes, smile to the baby, and massage its feet and hands. You will notice that it
strengthens the bond you are creating with your baby, and this is a priceless bonus.

Another activity that has been proven to greatly contribute to higher intelligence as well as better health is swimming. This activity can be done at any age, and if you swim with your baby or your child, it will contribute to your health too. If you have a baby, find a “water babies” affiliate in your area. If you have an older child, there are many ways to involve them in swimming. Encourage them to participate on a swim team, or to get involved with a school swimming activity. Practicing every day will improve their health tremendously.

Very young babies enjoy being in the water, kicking their legs and use their arms for swimming. Many YMCA centers have baby swimming classes. If you have a swimming pool at home, or you belong to a club, you can take your baby with you into the water, and hold it in the water. However, make sure that the water they swim in is warm. Babies need a higher temperature than adults need. Also make sure the water is clean. The quality of water is important to children of all ages, and I have to remind you to watch your child at any time when they are in the water, to prevent drowning. Please use caution.

Be aware, that very young babies have a very heavy head compared to their body, and they cannot by themselves keep their head above water. So make sure that your baby is supported at all times.

Another activity that improves the brain connectivity and balance is crawling. If your baby is still young, and does not crawl yet, swimming is preferred. You can also team up with a friend or a partner, and “imitate” crawling movement holding the baby’s arms and legs, in cross pattern. You stand on one side of the baby, while the baby is laying on its tummy, and the partner on the other side. You hold a hand and a foot, and so does the partner. Then while you bring the arm forward, the partner brings the leg forward, and visa versa, creating a rhythm. Do it just for a few minutes, while having fun. You can repeat it several times a day.

For all children who know how to crawl, make sure your child has room and opportunity to crawl. You might have to clean the floors, and make sure that the floor is free of little objects your child can choke on, but encourage the child to crawl as much as possible.

For older children, chasing each other while crawling can be a fun and enjoyable game. You can get on your hands and knees too, it will do you good! If you have several children, encourage them to play “catch” while crawling. This is good exercise, and it contributes to their intelligence.

Walking and running are natural activities, that utilize the cross pattern, and are great at balancing right and left hemispheres of the brain.

As we know, most people have a dominant hand. Statistically, most people are right handed, but there are many left handed people. In the past, (a few generations ago), it was common practice to force children to use their right hand for writing, tie their left arm behind their back, if they attempted to use it for writing. Children were punished for using their left hand for writing, cutting with scissors, playing ball etc.

For school age children, an exercise has been shown to create wonders: practice writing using your weak hand. If you are left handed, practice writing with your right hand, and if you are right handed, practice writing with your left hand. This can feel very awkward at first, and takes some practice. So I recommend turning it into a game. Do it with your child, take turns and compete. The person who writes clearer, or faster, wins. For example, every word earns a number of points, and whoever earns most points gets am award. Invent some games, and turn it into a fun activity.

Only a few minutes of practice a day, will make a big difference. And remember - by doing this you are giving your child an advantage many other children do not have.

Another activity that is amazingly productive for your child: drumming. I know, this is not for everybody. If you cannot stand the noise, maybe it is not the right activity for you. However, when your child learns how to drum, he is using both hands in turn, and is also learning a pattern. It will be a lot of fun to play a game, in which one of you invents a pattern and “drums” it (you don’t need a drum for this) and the other(s) have to recognize the pattern and imitate it. You can provide an award, and use it as an incentive. The pattern can become more and more complicated as you get better at this game. This game strengthens your child audio memory, improves the brain connectivity and improves pattern recognition.

For the last 26 years, Esther Andrews has studied, researched and practiced the ways to develop a child’s intelligence. She served as the principal of the School for Gifted Education for 5 years. In her web site: http://www.all-gifted-children.com, free Ezine, free Ebooks and seminars, she shares her experience and knowledge with other parents, who are interested in providing the best for their children.